A Little Pain

not-so spring

2012-01-21T02:16:00.004+08:00

It's finally the end of second week of sem 2. I wouldn't say that I'm coping well but.. okay, I'm managing. Workload's starting to pile again and I should be used to it by now. Why do I always complain.

Anyway, CNY is next week and eve is tomorrow but I have zero or even negative CNY mood this year. Everything just feels so rushed and happening so fast, I can't even take a break and catch my breath.
IHG started nearing the end of holiday, and continued till this week before we got kicked out of everything. I felt so damn homesick this week because I was barely home for less than a day last weekend. Bike X lasted from last friday till saturday, and I had to be back early morning on sunday for softball. Monday was packed with a trip to SAM for chimera and future proof, which was rather interesting, followed by rushing back to school for IHG vball. We lost. I don't know whether I should be upset or relieved actually.. Upset because some part of me knew we could have made it further, and relieved because all these commitments to sports can finally end and give me a break. But I know that I'll start missing it soon.
It's so difficult to be human..

FOC committee's starting to get to work, which means more hell for me. All thanks to my disability in turning people down, and overestimating myself. Oh, cultural night is coming up too, and we haven't even practiced yet. I've just agreed to help in canvassing for lovebites as well. Since it's headed by my friends and for a good cause. Someone just murder me please.

2012

2012-01-01T23:03:00.010+08:00

It's the first day of 2012 and I spent it sleeping most of the time. nice.

This is probably going to be a long post, being the first post of the year.

Countdown yesterday with awesome 52 peeps was fun, and in fact the first time I've ever went for a countdown or celebrated the new year (at least not that I remember). Had dinner, got a good spot at 10pm, talked and played card games till it was time for fireworks! It was quite nice actually. The leaving part after that was the worst and most horrible experience. It was literally a human jam on the roads and it was a second little india. We had supper at lau pa sat spamming satays, before catching the last extended train at 2.20am back home.
Shagged totally. After reaching home, washing up and waiting for my hair to dry, I only went to sleep at 4.30am or so. That explains how my 1st Jan 2012 is spent.

Today we also went to that certain disliked family's new condominium, which was quite nice and big in my opinion. But it is exactly the same reason that puts me off. I wonder why I even went actually.. If you have the money to move to a new condo this spacious and nicely renovated, owning a car on top of that, you should freaking seriously think about treating your mother better.

Rant over.

Looking back, 2011 has been a fruitful and enriching year for me. No matter how much I dislike it numerically.
In 2011, I...
- spent the first 4 days of the year in snowy Korea with my best friend.
- visited Korea (yes, again) twice.
- had the most independent holiday with my sis in HK.
- went on the most relaxing and sinful trip on superstar virgo, since the last time on sun cruise when I was 4.
- experienced how hectic and stressful the working society is, from my experiences in ANZ and IRAS. I dread stepping back into it again one day.
- collected my A level results.
- finally pursued art in university.
- picked up new skills in art and softball.
- felt like I've become a more independent person after experiencing university life, and making my own decisions.
- made a lot of new and awesome friends.
- found him.
- counted down on new year's eve with friends for the first time.

Of course, there will always be things that I wished I didn't do or things which I should have done. But no use regretting, so I shall just carry it forward and hope that 2012 will be better.

In 2012, I want to...
- spend more time with my family.
- treat my friends better.
- love him more.
- learn to control my temper.
- complain less.
- take more initiative to do housework.
- study harder and finish my work on time.
- not pon so many lessons.
- continually seek to improve myself.
- get gpa 4.2.
- go on a holiday with friends.
- travel to somewhere far with my family.

The list goes on with nitty gritty details but I shall just make do with these in the meantime. Who knows, the world may really end in 2012!
I pray for the best of health, better relations, and academic and career success for all my close ones.
Most importantly, happiness.

Day #11
It's been more than half of your trip and you'll finally be coming back next week! I miss you.

all i want for christmas

2011-12-28T01:31:00.007+08:00

Christmas season is over and this year's celebrations have been pretty much almost the same as any other year. Xmas eve was spent at home helping my mom to prepare stuff for the night, went over to my aunt's place as usual for dinner with the extended family. I love Xmas dinner, like the food literally. Stuffed myself with yummy food, chatted with cousins, played with my cute little niece, watched some boring show on television. Nope, no gifts. All thanks to the adults and their excuses: "hard to buy things now that you all are grown up". Oh well.

I'm extremely glad that our usual gang had a last minute meet-up for supper and supposedly christmas countdown. It was before 12 so I took a bus down to siglap only to stupidly miss my stop and realize that Udders was closed?! Damn. Kenneth drove us to east coast in the end, which I thought was quite a good idea even though it was raining. We spammed sinful junk food and kinda forgot about counting down. Took a nice stroll to the jetty and back, when it started pouring again. Enjoyed the cool breeze, ship lights in the sea, and simply one another's company. Camping and fishing by the beach looks really fun actually! Hitched a ride home, which was 2am by then.
This little trip really made my christmas this year so much better.

Spent the whole afternoon of christmas getting my butt numbed up in the salon chair. Being such a restless person, I almost died sitting in it for almost 5 hours! Horror. Just hoping that my hair won't fade to it's ah lian gold again.
Dinner at my dad's place with my cousin's family and niece again made up for it. Nothing beats good food and good company.

Boxing day was spent with my mom, sis and aunt doing some shopping at vivo. Going crazy over all the end of season sales now that the new year is around the corner! Desigual is our best friend, haha as usual. Made a trip to Ikea in the evening but left empty handed since whatever we wanted was currently out of stock.

Day #6

I'm starting to get a little used to this silence and boredom now. Hope you had a wonderful white christmas like you always wanted!

hall-idaying

2011-12-23T00:08:00.004+08:00

It's more than halfway through the holidays but what have I accomplished so far?
I don't even know myself.

I've been going back to hall for trainings and matches. ISG, IHG. Feeling really tired from the whole sequence of events this week. There was vball training on monday, thankfully indoors. Sprained the same ankle again but it wasn't that serious, some ice and deep heat did the trick. Tuesday was ISG vball which I thought was kinda fun even though we won one and lost one. Not bad considering we are ADM, and the other schools had like.. ivp players.
Wednesday was a total screw up due to the wrong IHG vball schedule. We ended up realizing that our match was actually on thursday instead, but wednesday was still not spared. Had to do refereeing for another match, which lasted a measly half an hour or so. What a waste of my day. Met my boy at night for MI3, which was rather interesting actually! Surprised that I managed to stay wide awake throughout the movie. Had dinner, walked around, just tried to spend as much time together as possible.
Today, I finally made it for softball training at freaking 8.30am. Considering I slept at 4+am earlier in the day, I'm so proud of myself! Got all muddy and disgusting all thanks to the gross field and bad weather, came back to hall and showered, then left for lunch and off to IHG vball. Yes we won! It's a good start, but hope we can keep up with this lucky streak. It started drizzling halfway through, so faster got it over and done with in 25-16, 25-7. Awesome.

The weather lately has been like a total PMS. It rains almost everyday, and can even last the entire day. Why can't the rain just turn into snow instead.. the air is cold and moist, water in hall is cold, everywhere is wet and cold. Makes me want to just huddle in my bed and rot.

Day #1

It's the first day that you've left. It's really a pity I couldn't send you off when I initially thought I could. Take care and enjoy yourself my dear boy.

#2

2011-12-02T02:12:00.003+08:00

Just had a fruitful day of shopping at the entire orchard with my boy. Okay, or rather, a whole day of walking. We combed ion, far east, taka, wisma and 313 somerset, but to my slight disappointment almost every single damn outlet was selling winter clothing. Sad season for shopping.. better luck when the new season arrives then! Dinner-ed at swensens and walked somemore. Christmas deco at orchard this year's really not bad. The only spoiler to the atmosphere is singapore's hot and humid weather. I can't believe how I always end up buying lesser stuff than he does?! Haha I fail as a girl..
Today was filled with bad luck in transport. I jumped on the wrong bus in the afternoon, we took the wrong train when going home, but even after that the correct one was terminating early, and the bus I told him to take didn't even exist at my busstop.

Oh well despite the stubborn pig being late (but that's alright), the lousy luck with buses and trains, and my tired legs, today was fun because it was with you. :)

heartfelt

2011-11-21T02:41:00.008+08:00

I haven't posted in a long time and there were so many things going on in this seemingly short month.

First of all, all my final projects and my one and only exam is OVER! I can finally feel relieved and slack the rest of my holidays away in peace and out of guilt. Thank goodness uni holidays don't come with homework (screw jc).

So last week was filled with non-stop submissions and presentations, and not forgetting endless mugging from night till morning. wow the word mugging and studying suddenly feels so foreign.. I'm glad that 4D film turned out well, or at least I think so based on general comments. 3D kite flying at barrage was also rather fun. My first time there and I just suddenly discovered this new-found interest in kite flying haha. 2D was completed relatively long ago, glad that Ina liked it (I think). Studying for art history was like the worst thing ever.. even though we're given the questions, but they're so complex that I didn't even know how or where to start searching for answers, or whether whatever I found was even correct. Okay heck that, memorising my answers was a real pain, but I'm glad that I managed to vomit everything back out on the answer booklet anyway. All that's left to do now is enjoy life, start exercising again, worry about majors, and in the meantime, pray for my results.

Even though my unofficial holidays have started, I still went back to hall anyway for lecture, submission, major selection, friends, and him. Everyone's mugging hard for exams that somehow I feel kinda bad for enjoying life while others are suffering. Not that I didn't have my fair share of it.. I just had mine earlier.
Swimming alone yesterday felt really good. Sometimes you just need some time alone once in a while. The pool was rather empty, I took a lane all for myself, did 30 laps. My head just goes blank in the water, watching the shadows of the ripples that form on the pool floor change. Feels good. Took a short nap and tanned, finally. Never felt so relaxed with nothing to worry about in a long time.
I can see myself doing more of this again sometime soon.

Oh by the way, I've found my special person ♥

to my horror

2011-11-04T17:07:00.004+08:00

Feeling like a bad girl because I've been missing lessons lately.. Well but I really can't help it. I'm either too damn tired or have other priorities to finish. I'm left with 2 more weeks to finish up my final projects AND study for art history.. hmm the word 'study' suddenly feels so foreign. This may sound stupid, but I kinda forgot how to study. oops? Finally done with a hectic week of chionging final projects (not lessons). Sleeping past 5 in the morning, and waking up with eye bags and half opened eyes.

Last night was ADM's halloween party, which was awesome as expected. They transformed the basement into an asian horror theme-ed club. Feels like FOC all over again! Cool ADM-made props and deco like red streamers and cloth all around, red lights, smoke machines, and a chinese altar for the 'dead'. Enthusiasts dressed up as chinese zombies and there was even a party rock robot head. The live band played freaking within temptation omg. First time hearing a band that plays my kinda songs. So there's also finger food, and not to mention-alcohol. That's it. My classmates and I were kinda mad over projects so we had to unwind (abit). Started off with bottles of heineken, downed vodkas like free, and kelvin was going around feeding people with his whisky water, which I had a considerable amount. We danced our night away and everyone was getting damn high. I admit, I got kinda high and giddy. Somehow lost the strength in my legs too. I left before midnight while the rest PLANNED to go to the drawing studio. But in that state, I knew that there was no way. hahah and I was right. So I stumbled my way back to hall, didn't wanna trouble my friends sending me all the way to the deserted out-of-the-way hall X. Leaned on almost every pillar I stumbled by, I don't even remember if there was anyone around giving me weird stares. I survived the journey back, collapsed at my door and crashed on the bed thereafter. I DID NOT SPOUT NONSENSE. I remember falling off the bed several times, I didn't wanna lie in the middle because I was sweaty and dirty. Raenes had to accompany me to the toilet. Knocked out for 2 hours, during which xiwen claimed to vacuum the floor but I wasn't even aware. Woke up, forced myself to bathe and felt much better after that. Freak so many people saw me in my horrible state.. what bad timing to drink.

Missed both my classes today. Firstly because morning class was too early for a half-sober girl like me to get up for, secondly was I didn't have time this week to finish my homework for drawing class. guilt... Well I got up and traveled all the way to HSS to submit my assignment anyway. Finally finished Heartstrings today.

I hate myself.

ever dream

2011-10-31T21:29:00.008+08:00

Ever felt away with me
Just once that all I need
Entwined in finding you one day

Would you do it with me
Heal the scars and change the stars
Would you do it for me
Turn loose the heaven within

2011-10-29T15:22:00.006+08:00

Omg wtfreak why in the world am I so bloody careless and stupid.
I will not do anything in my subconscious state of mind again. ever.

just believe

2011-10-22T02:02:00.011+08:00

Uncontrollably, it happens;

I will follow where the heart leads.
Emotions, so erratic;
the beauty of change sometimes dampens.
Keep believing;
because what is meant to be, will, eventually.
Unknowingly, these inner voices that guide;
those fleeting moments, feel like forever.
Etched into my mind as a beautiful memory.

Tiding over

2011-10-20T22:24:00.005+08:00

Currently typing this while posing for my friends in ADM drawing room. My back and neck's getting stiff. Oh so is my face. Specs are off, vision is blurry and the music playing is soothing. I totally have to resort to this otherwise I'd just fall asleep..

Okay so tomorrow's finally friday, which marks the end of this insane week. I must really be thankful for being able to live through this week smoothly. No matter how hard things became and work piled to the extent that I was going crazy, it all turned out fine in the end. My heartfelt thanks and appreciation goes out to all those who were understanding and supported me through this tide.
Well for starters, I finally passed my driving! YESSS. Finally one huge load off my back, and I can bring myself to face the world now. I just feel damn guilty for all the money spent on driving :/ Oh well but I shall treat this an a lifetime investment to picking up a new skill.

This week's just been filled with spending all nighters in ADM, meetings, trainings, and driving of course. Can't wait for the weekend and a good long rest.

I'm alive!

of all the madness

2011-10-17T03:24:00.003+08:00

The week ahead's crazy. Like mad crazy. Somehow all the workload and activities are all coincidentally (or not) packed into the short span of one pathetic week.
Just after last week's drawing class, mean old james decided that we lack practice and therefore doubled/tripled/infinited our mass of homework. Therefore, the list of stuff to be completed for this week is insane. Not to forget 2 freaking presentations for 2D, one of which I still have no idea what to talk about yet. How do you finish something that you can't even start on?
3D this week is to finish up our final abstract model in 4 hours. Which I think is highly impossible for me, yet I have to leave on time to go for driving at night.
Wednesday... well let's not talk about it. All I wish for now is to just give my best and get this done once and for all. No more complacency. I really don't wanna cause any more disappointment to those around me who cares.
There's also halloween inter-block deco competition. I contributed my idea, and now I have to see through it. Where am I supposed to find the time to do that?
I'm going crazy.. It's like I know that I have stuff to do yet I can't start on it.

CAN'T THIS CRAZY WEEK JUST BE OVER ALREADY.

cold air

2011-10-11T20:11:00.004+08:00

Blogging on a lazy tuesday night. Lying flat down on my bed while typing this.. Well, glad that the sun is starting to shine through the rain clouds now, and things are better than it was. I guess my personality can really make me become such an idiot sometimes. School's been okay so far, assignments and projects to keep up with, deadlines to meet, getting lots of "ADM so slack" and alot more. Hall life is dying out.. well as expected and as warned by seniors. How true.. Well I don't deny that we still have dinners and stuff, but not as many people turn up anymore. Oh well, I guess it's just the few close ones that matter anyway.
I don't even know what I'm looking forward to now anymore. It's like a repeated routine every week and I just look forward to ending class everyday. I just want to sleep, take a break, eat, have fun. Enjoy my youth while it lasts. 24 hours a day is just not enough.

change

2011-10-08T04:21:00.003+08:00

Time is such a cheat. It brings you good things but it can make them bad as well. Time is change, and change may not necessarily be good. I'm a person who doesn't like change. I think you've changed, and I don't like it. But who can I tell. Who will understand only other than myself. Why do people take things for granted just because they've had them for a long time. When you become too used to a certain presence maybe you will tend to forget. Just let it be. There are other priorities now and I'm not part of it. I hate it that I think this way because I know that I have no right. Yet I can't help but feel this way.

five two

2011-08-17T11:08:00.002+08:00

Second week of tertiary education and I'm still hanging in there. I sound damn lousy right like it's only the second week but I'm already struggling to finish up my work! Ok I admit that I've been kinda distracted with other stuff like hall/block 52 activities.. But I can't help it because my block's such a fun bunch of people that I can't bring myself to pangseh them :p
I know this sounds cheesy, but I really love my block people. They're all friendly and fun people to be with, and we always organize lunch, dinners, suppers, or simple sports together. I hope this will keep up and we would all make some time for one another despite our hectic school work.

During my first week of school, I kinda got a culture shock since I've been a science student my whole life and was trained only to dreadfully mug and memorizeee. Suddenly being exposed to such artistic and abstract classes where there's no right or wrong answer, it's really something very new and refreshing to me. "You are not students, you are all artists". Such pressure and expectations.

Well, I just hope that my new journey here would be a fruitful and fun one!

Beretta beretta

2011-08-08T01:40:00.005+08:00

Back from 5.5 days of Hall X FOC!!! It was tiring of course, since we only got about 3-4 hours of sleep everyday. But overall, I must admit that it was fun and really enjoyable. Initially during day 1/2 I had the feeling that ADM FOC was better. Maybe it was because I haven't really warmed up to the people, and initial mood would always be abit sian for every camp. Even though our OG was rather big (about 30 people), I'm glad that I made friends with every one of them and that they were all fun and nice people :)

Just a brief summary of events,

First day was typical ice breaking games, but luckily there was masking tape with our names on to save the day. There were also field games like telematches that were pretty interesting. At night, needless say, INITIATION. The smelliest, dirtiest, and most unforgettable experience. We were blindfolded throughout and we crawled/rolled through a pool of mess of what seemed to be made up of soya sauce, vinegar, instant noodles, eggs and etc. I'd rather not know of haha.
I threw away that set of clothes finally. By then it was about... 4 or 5am. x_x

Second day was beach games! One of my fav because I love going to the beach and being under the sun. Games were ok, going into the sea felt good. Haven't done it in a long time!
I can't remember what else we did that night.

Third day was amazing race which I heard started off with a dragon boat race. But damn, I missed it :( All because I went for ADM's welcome ceremony. I thought that it'll be something interesting and informative, but I ended up dozing off during the series of boring talks. The only part that made my trip worth while was seeing my ADM friends again and.. refreshments. haha.
I joined my og later at night together with other HSS people who went for their ceremony as well. Games that I played were pretty boring honestly, and I really dislike games that require you to run around everywhere in search of something. Luckily, we caught the last bus back to school!

Fourth day was pool games, which was one of my favourite part of FOC. Quidditch was quite an exciting game, and the best part is... I was the only person among the 2 competing ogs to win Bridge! Awesomeeee. But you know why? Because it was REVERSE scissors paper stone haha! And I suck so badly at the normal scissors paper stone, therefore I won.
We also did the confidence jump, which was jumping off a 5m diving platform about 3 storeys high. From the ground I thought it looked rather low and no kick. But I had to eat my words when I was up there on the edge and looking down. It totally felt like suicide, but the feeling of falling and diving into the deep pool for that few short seconds was really ecstatic.
At night, we had SP interaction time. We were blindfolded, and the moment I held my SP's hand, I knew that he was a fatty dude. What's worse, he openly confessed that his traffic light colour is purple. :O I know it's wrong to discriminate or hate him because he's fat and gay, but honestly... if it was your SP, how would you feel?

Moving on, final day! We went to the botanical gardens for our SP night. Firstly, my original SP ran away, so in the end I paired with a guy from my og who's partner didn't turn up either. Thank goodness. Almost everyone was dressed rather glamorously or at least semi-formal. And then.. they had games, in a grass field. omg. I jumped a skipping rope and hop scotch in wedges. Amazing! After the games we had a buffet, and sadly the band performance failed and so was cancelled. :/ Headed back to hall and had our campfire plus og performances! Compared to this, ADM FOC's finale was definintely more owning. The og performances were rather lame actually, but just for entertainment. Apart from that there was just prize giving. ADM had performances and the crazy transformed club. Ok so after we break camp, beretta gathered to drink. Accompanied by games of course. Well so overall it was really fun and everyone was really high. I couldn't even be bothered to bathe because I was so tired and blur when we decided to end at 5.30am. Crashed in bed and finally back home the next day!

Hmm hmm so I think my skin became one shade darker than it was. I like. Tomorrow's the start of school and I'm not really looking forward.. 8 months of holiday just passed so quickly and now the thought of starting school again hasn't set in. I just hope that my classmates would be nice and friendly people, and that I would be able to manage my uni life well. So far, I think all my prayers have been answered and all's going well. All the best to everyone and myself for a new term in life!

Sky

2011-07-16T00:53:00.005+08:00

I'm back from ADM FOC!!!

I decided I'd better blog while it's still fresh and kicking in my mind. Well so overall, the past 5 days have been really fun and ADM is just.. wow. I think I'm starting to love my school already. Hope I'm not speaking too soon. The theme for this FOC was something tribal-ish.. jungle-safari? I thought it was so typical, boring and barbaric, but the set up, effort put into making all the wonderful props just changed my mindset totally. It's amazing, and they stuck closely to the theme throughout. What can you expect from an art school?

I'm thankful for my wonderful OG, sky. Great people who are lots of fun. Without them the whole orientation would have just been so darn boring, and we wouldn't have won the best OG in games.
Honestly, it just beats JC orientation.

Day 1. Ice breaker games, blind folds, and the thing which I found most exciting. The traditional man-made soapy water slide. Awesome. We slept over at Aloha Changi chalet by the way.

Day 2. Amazing race with cool clues and a fun but tiring time walking around. We barely ran, but still got first anyway. Are we good or what. (Y)

Day 3. Bash night performance shopping and prep, followed by sports games in the muddy field. Stepping other people's balloons, modified softball and ultimate frisbee! Once again, we won. Had a horribly long movie marathon at night starting from 10+ pm all the way till 4am or so. In between we got called out for SP night in the 'haunted' ADM basement. 2 girls and 1 guy?! lol. Anyway, I really appreciated the effort put into trying to scare us with cool props and stuff, but I'm sorry I wasn't scared enough. Slept at 4am that night :(

Day 4. Paint ball war! I love our colourful t-shirts. So uniquely ADM. But hell it took a LONG and HARD time to wash the paint off your skin. I practically had to scratch it off my skin till it's red and painful. But nope, still there, and I've got blue highlights on my hair as well. Wonderful.
Bash night prep again all the way till the night. Ohhh and finally a nice buffet dinner.
Bash night was actually quite amazing. Deco was good, performances and costumes by all the OGs were good and entertaining. The disco session after that was totally ecstatic.
I guess letting yourself loose like that once in a while is kinda fun. And dancing around with your entire bunch of enthusiastic OG mates just makes it even better. Played indian poker at 3am, had cup noodle supper and to our sleeping bags at 5.30am. Cool?

Day 5. All good things come to an end. I love how our OG is bonded and everyone are friends with everyone. Some thank yous and had lunch with my OG in canteen one, then cabbed home with cousin and a fellow tampines dwelling OG mate.

The feeling of returning home is of course great, but I kinda miss the excitement and energy from camp. Totally knocked out in bed for a measly half an hour so I should head to my comfy queen bed now!

I'm looking forward to hall FOC already.

looking ahead!

2011-07-09T16:56:00.003+08:00

Hello world!

Life's been good so far. But sadly, all good things come to an end. Or rather, are coming to an end soon. 天下无不散之筵席.
Next week ADM orientation starts. 5 days, I'm just hoping it won't be filled with weird or annoying people, and that the games would be at least not so lame/boring. Someone nice and friendly pleeeasssee come and talk to me. LOL. Oh well, I have to do something about my dao face first.

On wed-thurs, my best friends came over to my place for our long-awaited sleepover! Went to sentosa in attempt for beach vball in the day, but nope, no courts to be found on all 3 beaches. What is wrong with sentosa! No beach vb court on a single damn beach?! complain!!!
Ok so we ended up just soaking up some UV rays and vitamin D, took some pics with some cute (not looks) jap tourists, walked abit in vivo and back home. Dinner was at sushi tei at tampines 1, followed by KOI :D
Anyway tuesday was a bad day for me. Nothing seemed to go well.

#1 We couldn't find a single court in sentosa. ugh.
#2 I lost my all time favourite adidas shorts in sentosa. No idea how.
#3 My 2 cups of un-poked koi slipped off my hands and exploded in front of an atm machine. my poor koi. how embarrassing :(
#4 Rive gauche was closed when we wanted to get some cakes :(

Don't need to tell me, I know my day was filled with bad luck.
We spent the night watching kpop stuff on tv, fell asleep at 3+ am. Went back to TJ the next day to collect our A level cert! Seemed like it was just yesterday when I took A levels. haha.

Now I'm just slacking and eating and slacking in the comfort of my home. I'm kinda looking forward to camp, yet a little not. I don't know. Just hoping that everything will be fine.
lastly.... I'M FINALLY GOING TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL AGAIN. YEAAAHHH.
thanks to xiwen and her instructor who intro-ed her his vb session.
Hope it'll be fun too!

Finally

2011-06-28T22:15:00.003+08:00

Oh I'm back in Singapore, again!

Just had a fairly enjoyable trip to korea (again, also) with family - sister - dog + aunt! Lot's of stuff's what I did before in Dec with wen, even the places we eat and shop at, with a few exceptions. Hmm but I guess every holiday would always be somehow different no matter how many times you go.
I must say that I'm very thankful for being able to go overseas 5 times in 12 months, if you start counting from June 2010-June 2011. It's been HK, Bali, Korea, HK, Korea. I'm amazed myself too! But then again, who knows when I'll get the chance to go on a holiday spree like this again. The next time would be when I retire (or become a tai tai) maybe?
Thank you dad, thank you mom. love you all!

A summary of stuff that happened after I got back,

Driving has been occupying about 50% of my life. Sleeping and slacking takes up 20%, and eating maybe about another 20%. I'm sorry friends, you're left with only my 10%. :( Hope to get my license asap before school gets in my way!

Had an impromptu ice cream treat by xiongdi at coccogelo. Thanks a banana bunch! First time trying out that place, nice ice cream, but I would have preferred a more lively ambience. Nonsense talking was always fun, so overall, not bad for last minute kias.

Met michelle finally and properly with wen in search for our long lost love, summer frost. Still as good as ever! We wanted to catch X-men but the timings were too off so we ended up watching green lantern instead. What a lame lame lame typical superhero movie. My poor $8 that I could have used for better purposes like food has gone to waste.

Went out with alicia and zoey like finally after a million years, and I really enjoyed our catch up session! We went to the closing down railway station and some deserted track for their photos, which was really quite adventurous and fun. Thanks for the day girls! Hanging out with you all always reminds me of our fun zero-point primary school days. :)

Met up with fat cow wen on monday to catch kungfu panda 2 before it closed! It's good as I expected. I finally got to walk on the helix bridge, which was honestly quite boring and not as exciting as I had imagined it to be. I finally told someone about all the shit which have been bugging me for days. The problem will always be there, but thanks for hearing me out, at least I feel a little better.

So the thing is I just found out some stuff which really pisses me off. Wanted to give that lucky someone a good strong punch in the face. (slaps are too girly weak) I actually got over it a long time ago and was happily living my boring life until I realised now that I've been a total idiot the entire time. You're really the worst freaking bastard in the world. Apart from that, heard about some bitches and their bitchings as well. Seriously, is bitching your full time hobby? Is judging others fun? All of you should just grow up and get a life.

Okay breathe. That's the end of my unusually long post! Lot's of 'finally's in this post I realised. I guess there's just alot of stuff that I've finally done! Till next time.

island on a stove

2011-05-30T18:42:00.003+08:00

I'm back on the sunny (literally) island of singapore! Well, not very excited about it actually. I'm glad to be back because of my close friends and family of course, but other than that.. nah, not excited at all.
I miss being in HK already even though it hasn't even been a day since I've left yet. I miss the nice food (bbq pork, roasted pork), milk teas everywhere, and not to forget, my beloved xu liu shan. Sigh.. I miss slacking around in the apartment, rotting on the sofa and watching a new dvd everyday, making peanut butter toast with condensed milk and hot chocolate. Hmm speaking about it makes me hungry already.
Ok enough with the I misses.

I must emphasize AGAIN, that the weather here is so damn bloody hot that my poor heat-intolerable body cannot take!

Hmm even though I'm supposedly 'free' now, somehow I just feel that alot is going on. Traveling, going out, accompanying my family, driving especially. I think I really want one more month of holiday please.

D3sserts.

2011-05-26T23:47:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I feel like I'm a stress ball or something. Something you can just yell or get mad at whenever you feel like it. Okay, whatever. Can't blame you for being unable to take jokes nor empathize.

Day 7 today, my sis and I actually planned to wake up early for breakfast out at Cafe de Coral. But obviously... plan failed. Haha. Well this kinda things ought to happen when you sleep at 3am the night before right? So we had brunch, again. Watched some american idol and got to dance UK, before heading out to tsim sha tsui to walk around randomly. Checked out some malls, streets, had xu liu shan as usual, and had hokkaido ice cream in some nice japanese concept mall! Love that mall, everything's so nice and well designed, but...pricey. sigh. I wished there were no buts.
Had dinner at azabusabo, plus dessert AGAIN. omg seriously I will grow fatter and fatter at this rate.. Hmm.. Walked along the avenue of stars for some sight seeing even though I've been there before. There was a nice photography exhibition along the way which was really quite interesting. - world upside down.

Back in the comfort of my room and on my sofa. 3 more days, mixed feelings. One part of me wants to stay here longer because it's relaxing and obviously because I'm on a holiday. The other part of me wants to go home because I miss my family. I just realised that.. I'm not ready for school afterall. Can I have another 8 months? Haha I wish..

Shall blog again maybe tomorrow!

peanut butter toast.

2011-05-24T23:42:00.002+08:00

Day number 6, days are passing rather quickly!
So far I must say we've done rather successful and sufficient shopping, and my wallet's almost empty. Bad sign.
Woke up at 12 today, wasted some time watching random channels on tv, ate some brunch and headed out to mong kok for some shopping/walking AGAIN... Had my beloved xu liu shan with yummy carrot cake, tried some damn good matcha milk tea!! (Y)
Ok so it's been raining the past few days and I don't like it because of the inconvenience and my poor shoes.
Oh anyway the weather in HK is great, a million times better than that in SG really. Today temperature ranged from 22-27 degrees c. Isn't that great? It's like.. the weather outside is cooling even in the afternoon, and you won't even perspire after a day of shopping. Great weather for someone like me who's so afraid of heat and has super active sweat glands! SG is just so damn humid.

Watched avatar last night and ice age 3 today, wondering what I should borrow next from the dvd library! Alright shall post perhaps tomorrow :)

HKing

2011-05-23T23:09:00.002+08:00

I'm happily living in HONGKONG now!!! Have been here since last thursday, accompanying my sister to HK for her internship, and for my little getaway. We're currently living in a service apartment which in my opinion is better than a hotel. There's a kitchen, bathroom, living room, bed room, freedom and.... HOUSEKEEPING. It's also conveniently situated right across the street from an MTR station, supermarkets, convenience stores, macs, BK, subway, bakeries, GONGCHA and xu liu shan. Omg seriously that's all enough for me.

For the past few days, we've been going out everyday for shopping and checking out hotspots in HK. I feel guilty and bad for my parents and my wallet.. but I'm so sorry I can't resist spending on a holiday :/ Well we've also been eating alot.. lot's of yummy desserts and gongcha of course.

Today's my sister's first day of work and so it's also my first day alone. Woke up at 7 to make sure she leaves on time and pour cereal, went back to sleep and woke up again near 12. I had my own drama marathon after that and went out for lunch on my own! Proud of myself.. It wasn't that bad afterall. Came back and went to the gym for a good well-needed workout, and finally had dinner with my sis after that. I'll blog more when I'm free! Back to dvds now :)

ADM here I come!!!

2011-04-27T22:48:00.005+08:00

Wow I haven't blogged in ages. 1.5 months now.. Haha this is boring, I always start my posts by being amazed at how long ago my last post was. Well, life's been all the same but uni applications are the only thing that keeps it exciting! But can kill you with the suspense as well.

Ok so I quit my ANZ job in early march for some time to prepare my portfolio+alot of other stuff for ADM application. What a wise decision indeed! I managed to finish (squeeze) everything in 2 weeks on march 19, and IRAS called me up to goo work on 22 march. Please tell me my time estimation is brilliant. ;)
So far I've been checking taxpayer's forms for error and corrections, spying on other people's income and details, helping lost people file their taxes at the service centre, running away from cockroaches on my computer/table, snacking away on free junk food, folding tons of paper cranes out of post-its. Sounds fun? Not really... but it definitely beats selling credit cards through a phone and having to worry about how to survive every single day.

You know what, I can't stand people who show off how sought after and smart they are on facebook. Yes, this is with regards to the recent buzz on uni apps.
"Going for NUS medicine interview on blabla date at blabla time!".
Like come on do you really have to put the date and time and everything for the whole world to see and go WOWWW you got shortlisted for medicine??? so smart!!! Spits. I mean, it's not anyone's fault you're smart, but it's a problem that you're such a brag.
Or how about, "Oh my should I choose NUS, NTU or SMU biz? I got accepted into all!" S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y. shit you and shut up already! There are people out there who are anxious and waiting for any news, while there are others sticking their smart asses all over facebook.
I can see the logic of 'share the joy' now.

Complaining done! Now's my turn. I went for an aptitude test for NUS architecture 2 weeks ago. Omg so profound... 'the opposition between speed and slowness'. How abstract can it get man.
Also had an interview for industrial design. Sounded quite interesting actually! But sadly I don't really like the NUS environment/culture and also the building. lol this sounds quite lame but yeah.

Today, I GOT ACCEPTED BY ADM!!! Overjoyed x 10000. :) The envelope seriously scared me quite abit because it was so thin. I was expecting an acceptance package to be thick and filled with papers. But who cares the content was enough to keep me smiling the whole time in my bathroom. :) Now I know that all my hardwork, time and MONEY spent in preparing all the stuff for ADM didn't go to a waste at least. Best of all, it's what I had wanted all along since I heard of it. It's the feeling like when I received my mail that got me into TJ IP. Or maybe even better :)

I need a cup of KOI now to celebrate please :)

four days of hiding

2011-03-10T22:00:00.004+08:00

Yay I'm finally blogging again! I admit I've just been too lazy and busy. Anyway, results day was on 4th March. I wasn't very excited/worried/anxious or anything actually, maybe because I don't really have high expectations to start with. Mr fung wasn't supposed to msg me, but in the end he told me my results indirectly ("same as xiwen"), and I found out because I already knew what xiwen had. BBD/AB. haha so much for suspense! :p so happens tong got the same too! So cool, we all got the same grades. Went to school, listened to all the stats and watched the top scorers go on stage. They are either people whom I already expected to go up, or people who I never even heard off/seen in my entire JC life hahaha. hidden muggers.

Okay so I quit my job on the 3rd of March. Honestly I kind of miss the people there, cos they're all nice and friendly people. But I definitely won't miss the job though.
I'm currently focusing and spending all my time preparing for ADM application. Portfolio+3 drawings+personal statement+creative writing is NOT EASY at all!!! But I'm glad to say that my portfolio should be done soon, and I've completed my creative writing. yay. Oh and there's driving... and also looking for another job for April. Wow see, so many things to do. I guess 8 months doesn't really feel that long. It's already March man!! too fast too fast..

Anyway, I can declare that even though my A levels are over long time ago (didn't feel very long though), I still have NO social life. This really sucks. But then again, I don't wanna force myself to be some social party animal anyway so just whatever. What a waste of my youth.

Well in the last 4 days I've completed 3 pieces of work. 2 of which are canvas paintings and it's my first time!! So proud of myself, and it's fun too. Here they are, enjoy!

Spring

A Gift to the Moon

happy single

2011-02-14T22:11:00.003+08:00

Wow haven't posted in a long time again. What's up with my life now? Work!
Well I'm working at ANZ bank with xiwen and tong now, doing the best job in the world- telemarketing. hahaha. Don't laugh, because I'm totally amazed at myself too. It's the kind of job i hate the most, but yet it's what I'm doing of all jobs.
But I admit I'm kinda getting used to it now, the only thing I hate about it is that there's a target and that makes the job stressful.

It's CNY period now, not really into the CNY mood this year and it's still the same as always. visiting, eating and not to forget the highlight of CNY, gambling. However my luck this year sucks like crazy. Overall I think I lost almost a hundred. Oh well! At least my red packet money makes up for the loss :p Went house hopping to xiwen, crys and my house this year, and I finally learnt how to play mahjong!! still a noob, but better than not knowing at all eh.

That aside, today's valentine's day! a.k.a friendship day. It's been friendship day for me for the past 19 years but that's okay with me. Went out after work today with my 2 best girl-friends all thanks to early release ;) windowshopped, neoprinted, and dinner-ed at NYDC (Y). Short but wonderful.

Hmm time seems so fly by very quickly during these working days. It's good in a way that I can get over work quickly, but bad cos my school-free days are actually getting shorter. Also, doomsday is drawing closer and closer. Ugh, reality! I'm not even near half done with my portfolio or write ups, and yet I don't even have time to rest properly. Haha but seriously, it beats JC2 life man. Alright shall stop here and post again when I feel like it!

Happy CNY and Valentine's day.

Korea, sparkling.

2011-01-07T22:18:00.004+08:00

I'm back with another post on another amazing holiday. (: wow, that's 2 back to back overseas trips I'm talking about. Probably will happen only once in my lifetime.. Well I went to KOREA with xiwen for 8D6N following a small tour group of 13 people including ourselves. Seoul, Jeju, Daegu and DanYang. Considering it was my first time holidaying in Korea, and also the first time going overseas with a friend, amazing!! The people in our tour were really nice to us, and so was our local guide who calls us mei meis hahaha.

We had a midnight flight supposedly at 2.35am which was delayed till 3.35am. Went to the lounge, starbucks and internet place to kill time. Asiana airlines!
Reached in late morning and changed to domestic flight to Jeju Island. Sight seeing at some dragon rock, some nice scenic mountain, tangerine farm and some place where da chang jing filmed. It snowed it jeju even though it wasn't supposed to! First time I experienced a snowfall. wonderful. (:

Third day, we went to see a beautiful waterfall, another da chang jing filming site, the cute teddy bear museum, green tea museum. It was snowing again! The winds were so strong, it was almost like a snow storm. I still loved every bit of the coldness and snow though.

Fourth day was domestic flight to Daegu, which was delayed by an hour due to heavy snow. More sight seeing, went to premium outlet street with LOTS of branded shops selling cheap stuff, some night shopping, traditional korean wedding and dukbokgi cooking! We spent an entire hour in adidas btw, which was obviously insufficient. sighhh.

Fifth day in Danyang, we stayed in a resort hotel which was tatami style! Hot spring in the basement, and we wore swimsuits and ran out in the cold to the outdoor hotspring. What a great experience hahaha. Oh not to forget, Everland! It was really pretty with all the cute buildings and night lights, but a pity there's too little time to try out stuff.

Sixth day was in Seoul, where we went to the Ginseng museum, Cordyceps museum, watched 'Miso' which was a very nice traditional korean theatrical performance. and the FACESHOP, which sold stuff much cheaper than those in Singapore. Went to myeongdong street to shop and bought stuff from Etude house, Skin Food and Tony Moly. Boots, accessories, and other random stuff like cute socks. Omg shopping haven! Went to the Kimchi school to make some kimchi and buy a whole carton of it, and tried on a hanbok! :D

Seventh day, went to an Amethyst factory which we were very uninterested in.. Sinchon shopping street for last minute shopping, and to a huge shop selling local foodstuff and souvenirs. Also, we went to feed seagulls on a cruise!! Fun fun (: I fed so many noisy, spoilt and starving seagulls for the first time. even though it lasted for only a mere 15minutes or so, the experience was wonderful.

Finally, we took another night flight back to singapore and reached at 2AM. I thought I bought alot of stuff but after I unpacked I don't think so anymore. I think I bought too little -_- ahhh! Oh not to forget, our (xiwen's) luggage was overweight HAHAHA. oh well hope that I'll have another great holiday soon (:

Cloud 9

2010-12-15T22:36:00.002+08:00

Wow look at the date, A levels are finally OVER. like for reaaalll omg. I think my body hasn't really gotten used to the slack-everyday mood yet, even though I think I'm doing pretty well at it already.
After As was spent going out occasionally for some prom shoes shopping, movies. Prom was on 7 dec at marina mandarin. Xiwen came over to my place to do nails, head over to my regular hair salon, then back again to change and make up with help from my sis. Prom was okay.. rather entertaining games, so-so dinner, and as expected, lots of phototaking. People were literally swarming the entire area outside the ballroom for hours just taking photos or hanging around! Not very fun to squeeze among the crowd. We left for timbre are raffles place for some drinks! not bad at all (: first time out so late with the girls. They then came over to my place for a short sleep over, it was about 1am by then. Washed up and started checking out fb abit before getting hooked on wii raving rabbits for about 3hours plus, and we ended up sleeping at 5plus AM. coolness ;) Tong left at 7plus AM cos her dad came to pick her, wen and I slept in till 9AM before she left and my family left for the airport to go to BALIIII!!!

Bali was fun, 5days 4 nights free and easy. We booked local tours for 2 days, shopped and scouted for good food for 2 days, left on the last day. Well it was a very fruitful trip cos I did many things that I've never tried before! First day, we arrived in the evening, so just went to some marketplace near grand hyatt to shop abit and have dinner. Btw, grand hyatt was lovely and peaceful (: Such a good treat and getaway from my 4 years of mugging.
Second day was sea sports, we tried out the sea walker which was awesome, the banana boat, jetski and the flying fish. Went back to the hotel for swimming, and went to another shopping street at night.
Third day, we went for white water rafting someplace far away. It was incredibly tiring climbing up and down the cliff just to get to the river! After that we went to a coffee plantation, wood carving store, and finally a balinese spa/body massage. Totally traumatising. I wasn't exactly enjoying it, so I doubt I'll go for another one like this again :/ Went to hard rock cafe for dinner.
Fourth day was resting day, so we spent the day shopping again for local stuff, before going back to the hotel to swim again, then heading for grilled seafood by the beach. What a wonderful atmosphere it was. The sun setting in the distance, the sand under your feet, candles lit on all the tables fully occupied, balinese dance, and fireworks in the dark sky. Oh and not to forget, a mug of beer to accompany all this. I could stay there longer really. Fifth day was back to singapore, man. Well, all things has its end, I'll be looking forward to my next overseas trip!

Cloud 8

2010-11-29T23:26:00.002+08:00

A levels is so almost over!!! Omg I'm so excited already. All that's left is a stupid and lame bio mcq that needs me to wait 10 days. This suspense can kill me and every other A level bio student! Okay but of course, I'm extremely thankful that everything else is over because they're all more disusting. I've already started partying and enjoying myself with no mercy, there's no need to wait for 2 december ;)

The day after econs paper 2, I went out with my best friends to orchard/bugis for a good shopping and relax day. Well not that it was exactly relaxing because my legs were so tired :( Bought some stuff, watched harry potter, ate and walked around! just feels nice hanging out without any worries :) Thursday was day out with my parents, lunch at dad's place, followed by a facial with mommy. Facial for the first time in my life! Lying down for 2 hours or so was so damn boring and I got restless.. but that's facial. Afterwhich the beautician will strongly promote all sorts of their facial products for this, that, this. Ugh. $500 package? haha no thanks. I still don't see why tai tais like going there so much. Maybe I'll understand when I'm older.
Friday was gym day with chiali and annyi. Ran 1.6km on the treadmill, did some arm stuff. It felt so damn good to perspire and exercise again (Y). Surprisingly I didn't really ache much the next day. Saturday was another shopping day with wen at tamp, and I finally bought my prom shoes and some make up for casual use. yeahh short but productive shopping :)
Sunday, my family checked into hardrock hotel cos my dad could get a free suite room + connecting room. Super cool seriously the suite was great. Not exactly very grand or anything, but comfortable to slack around in, with a huge toilet :) Went swimming at the cool pool, played some fail beach vb at the hotel sand court. After that i went to the gym while mom accompanied me there to watch tv lol. Feels good. Checked out today and went to vivo, came home and napped a whole lot before heading to dinner and here I am!

Oh btw, I finally opened up my macbook :) so happy! Now I can't wait for A levels to be over for real, then there's Bali trip to look forward to, Michelle coming back and us going overseas, finding work, building my portfolio, learning driving, and worrying over results day. Whoo, busy busy. Alright goodluck for mcq!

2 more weeks

2010-10-24T00:32:00.004+08:00

Unproductive weekend yet again.. When am I ever going to start being productive anyway? -_- I just hate studying so I guess my plans of studying everything will ultimate fail as usual. So much for planning to study econs essay plans, SPA planning and look through tutorials. I don't even think I have the time, speed nor stamina to even finish studying notes. ZZZ. Why is studying so boring.....
I guess I can look forward to the day after A levels are over but I wouldn't be able to look forward to results day. Even though I haven't even taken any paper yet, I'm already scared to deathhhh! ahhhhh.

Okay studies aside, I know I shouldn't be thinking about all these but I'm already looking forward to grad night, going for a holiday overseas, DYING MY HAIR WOOHOO, and going to all the places and doing all the things I always wanted but never had the time and chance to do so. yesyesyes so exciting simply thinking about it (:

On a side note, you know what? I'm really giving second thoughts about meeting you because of your character. We've always been on different channels so I really wonder how it'll be like if we met. I'm such a cold, blunt and straightforward person that'll you'll probably just be bored to death soon enough. Oh well we shall see.

tired

2010-10-14T21:21:00.004+08:00

I feel so tired.. Tired of school, tired of practicing, tired of forcing myself to memorise notes, tired of listening to all the teachers' nagging. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this, but somehow I feel like I'm in depression or something. My emotions now are more sensitive than before. Little things make me want to cry, little things make me full of anger. When I look at the calendar now I feel scared, worried, yet I want time to pass more quickly so that all this will be over as soon as possible.
Why can't the bloody school just let us of sooner? I seriously don't think a week or two of so called revision is going to make me jump grades at all. Making us come back every day is bad enough, but now we have to stay till evenings just for mock papers. What kind of early timetable is that? Cheaters. I wonder if every batch of students taking A levels feel this way.. Is the A levels really so scary that we have to worry and panic so much? Or is it exaggerated by teachers just so that we'll be frightened to do well? I know that what I want to do in the future doesn't even require me to score my As nor Bs for whatever shit I'm studying now, but I guess I have no choice since I'm in wonderful TJC.

I can't wait for December to come!!! Faster faster I'm struggling to get away from school now. One week, 2 days more till end of my TJC studying life.

never good enough

2010-10-04T21:33:00.002+08:00

Today all 5 econs papers were thrown back at me at a go during my first lesson of the day. how traumatizing.. I did terrible, seriously. Well it's not that I expected to do very well but I thought I could at least... do a little better than this. She just had to flash everyone's results on the screen, and I could see that I was one of the lousiest or maybe I AM the lousiest. This feeling really sucks like hell, it's not the first time I felt it though.. How is it that some people like him could even do better than me?? I just feel so lousy, so useless, so STUPID. I studied for econs...I really did, but I don't know why I just can't score well. I don't know how to study for econs other than just reading and writing stuff out. My bio isn't any better either. Why is it that people can improve so much and do reasonably well for prelims but not me. I STUDY. I really suck and I feel so helpless. Lam wants to meet me tomorrow and it won't be good. She caught me in the morning for my ear studs and sticks? apparently they're too big. whatever. What a wonderful start to the week. 5 more weeks to A levels but here I am worrying my heart out over prelims. I really wanted to cry.. but not in front of everyone. I won't allow that. Crying won't solve anything but it just shows weakness.

I will not cry, because I know that's weakness in your eyes.

So just swallow those tears geraldine, and keep walking.

Because...

2010-10-01T22:54:00.004+08:00

It kinda scares me now that it's 5 more weeks to the A levels. So many things, so little time..
I know I didn't do well for prelims, even though I haven't gotten back half of my papers yet. But judging from what I have gotten back it's...not very good at all. Makes me worry a hell lot for how my A levels will be like. Sure I'll be relaxed and I'll burn my notes after the last paper, but what REALLY matters and scares me is the day we collect our results. ugh I can totally imagine that fear and nervousness already!

I'm telling myself to start studying, but there's seriously no time to even slot revision time in. Okay maybe there is, but I just don't make the effort to. School supposedly ends early, but next week onwards there'll be mock papers after school, remedials, and work to be done at our own time. Where's the time to study? seriously. I know I'm probably just making excuses for myself but I still insist that what I think is partially true. Can't the school just do revision and leave us alone to study by ourselves after school. I understand the purpose of mock papers but enough with the lame WORK. COME ON we've had enough of tutorials and revision exercises for the past 3 terms omg can A levels just be over NOW. :(

Okay, rant over. I don't even have time to keep up to my weekly swim anymore, how sad. Can a miracle happen and make me smarter and hardworking please.. not to forget, I think I'm growing fatter -.- keep jumping geraldine, must keep improving vertical jump and hang!!

Today was stupid. All fridays are going to be, because I come to school for chem lecture and gp only. And gp is kind of redundant actually. Today is stupid too because friends don't just dump their friends in school without a word and expect them to know that you're not coming and help you settle all your school shit. At least let SOMEONE know then they can tell the rest right. Oh whatever when have we ever been true friends anyway. Our friendship is full of lies and its so superficial. Can totally imagine what it'll be like after we leave this disgusting school.

Well I guess bad times and good times all make up memories in this school. No matter what shit I faced here, all the disappointment, sadness, setbacks, joy, fun, experiences. One day we'll all look back and reminiscence.

almost there

2010-09-23T01:10:00.005+08:00

Prelims is almost over!! well, I know that there's still bio mcq left. But I can't help to feel like it's all ended already, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. I'm really amazed how I always manage to finish studying everything in such a short period of time. Just like MCTs, JCTs, and now prelims. Just too amazing.

I'm having 2 days off before bio mcq now, cos I don't have any papers. Just went swimming today with my parents, and today's mid-autumn festival! I feel so terribly unfit.. and this will just continue until A levels end. Ugh! I want to play vball.. I want to train and become better. I want to be an IVP in uni, I really want to. But right now without any training or whatsoever I feel so stagnant. No, I feel like I'm just becoming worse everyday. I keep jumping around at home to touch the ceiling so that I can maintain or hopefully improve my vertical jump and hang, but things are always different without the real thing. Being short is already a disadvantage. SIGH.

2 nights ago when I was sleeping, I suddenly had a terrible blocked nose I thought I was going to die. Yeah it felt that bad. Both sides of my nose were totally blocked and I breathed entirely through my mouth even though I sat up throughout the night. my throat became so dry and I just felt so tired and out of breath after breathing too long through my mouth. Applying whatever balm or eating medicine didn't help anyway. Man, can that not happen again it was so scary :/

Post prelims timetable starts next week. Hope it won't be too taxing. I really need a good break before starting my engines at max power for the A levels.

Pre-prelims

2010-09-02T22:14:00.002+08:00

Finally posting again when I'm 'free'. Study break before prelims just started. And honestly the study break's kinda useless. 2 days?? Anyway, Tuesday was staff day celebration and it was.. nothing special. Once again, not close or particularly thankful to any teacher other than mr fung. Pizza celebration with the class and my fav lam, captain's ball with 04. Honestly I didn't know what to write on the notes for all the teachers! All I could write was an intentionally big 'happy teacher day' to take up the space, then 'thank you for...' mind goes blank. seriously. Of course I'm grateful for teachers who treat me nicely, but other than that, nope. The concert was.. funny, and very entertaining because I was totally embarrassed when a supposed 'junior' put up such a slutty performance. wonderful! After that was econs make up.. wow, great way to end the day. Went to find the girls after lesson and I was totally tired/exhausted/sleepy by then :/

Today I went swimming with wen! Followed by studying at the lounge which was so bloody hot I can't stand it!! Especially for someone like me who perspires at the slightest heat. Now I'm home and I have cough and flu and slight fever :( Why do I always fall sick at the wrong times. It's either during a holiday or after exams but never during school SIGHH. I'm fated to have perfect attendance. Okay going to study out tmr jiayou me!!

My 18th

2010-08-18T23:51:00.003+08:00

Today was just like any other normal day, which is good because I hate making my birthday such a big deal or rather I just don't like it when too many random people know about it. Haha I'm weird ain't I? Only my closest friends would know, and that's good enough for me :) At least my friends have already celebrated for me in advance! Thanks to all who remembered and wished me :). People who don't even remember it without a reminder just shows that maybe we're not that close afterall. heh. Well this year is definitely better than last year in my opinion. I'm more optimistic about the whole birthday thing and THANK GOODNESS lam didn't come in for civics.. spared me from the class singing bday song oh gosh. So today I received another present from my fav girls!! a really pretty sketchbook and personalized cards from each of them. aww :') I'm really touched because I can tell the effort you all put in to make the card look nice, and all the heartfelt words written in it. Love you girls and thanks for making my birthday a great one (: Without you all, it'll just be another meaningless day. Went for training after school, cut my strawberry shortcake with my family at night and studied unsuccessfully for econs test -.- what a spoiler!

Well today wasn't all perfect. Some people really piss me off by really insensitive words. You know what, if you really think 'who needs your drawing', then don't ask me to draw for you in the first place okay. screw you. And another you, does it make you happier thinking that I have no friends or nobody likes me such that I need to hide my birthday from the world? And if you're so reluctant to wish me a proper happy birthday, then don't. If you're gonna give that half-hearted attitude then I'd rather you just bloody shut up. Wow, 2 spoilers to my day haha.

YOG, 18th outing (:

2010-08-16T21:37:00.003+08:00

It's finally the Youth Olympic Games!! Haha even though I'm not a part of it or anything, I still feel the excitement and it's fun watching all the sporting competitions. They are all 14 to 18 OMG I cannot believe it okay all their builds and looks are just... :O indescribable.

Okay so here's more complaining about my beloved TJC, apparently JC2s are NOT allowed to sign up as YOG volunteers, NOT allowed to have tickets to watch any YOG games, NOT given any YOG break or whatsoever like what poly students are having now. I really feel so damn bloody deprived of a life, seriously. Tell me, how often is YOG? once every 4 freaking years. When do you think is the next time puny Singapore will host YOG ever again? I probably won't even be alive by then. How is it that by being a volunteer or even watching a game during this short 13 days can change the outcome of A levels? This is just so damn stupid. I watch TV, see the volunteers and feel so envious yet sad. Why is it so unfair that YOG has to be in 2010 when I have bloody A levels. So much for rallying Singaporean youths to support YOG. How to support when we don't have the chance and time to! UGHH I hate this.
Moving on, I thought that the YOG opening was...not bad, considering SG only had 2.5 years to prepare for it. I just thought some parts could have been more organized and well thought. But overall, not bad! I'm just hoping I'll get to catch at least one volleyball match now, if I even have the chance...

Staff day's coming up, and I don't feel any attachment or gratitude to any teacher at all. EXCEPT Mr Fung. Yup, staff day's just another half day. great! Hmm I have tests everyday this week, how disgusting.

On saturday, the girls and I went out to Orchard for my early birthday celebration! Thanks alot xiwen, tong, mich :) They kept the places we were going a secret from me, which was a lot of suspense haha. We dressed nicely and first up was lunch at F.I.S.H at 313@somerset. Quite nice, pasta plus salad buffet, then they brought me to icing room to customize a cake :) it was pretty! and quite yummy too haha. Went to eat yami yogurt to steal forks lol. Then second stop was neoprints at cineleisure! Wow my first neoprint after 4 years in TA okay. And also our first neoprint together <3 Walked along orchard road to taka, YOG shops and randomly around. OH and they bought me that pair of shoes from rubi heheh thanks you guys :D

Last Tuesday which was NDP holiday, the same 4 of us went out to bugis to spend some quality time together. Went to Let's Sweet!, which was a jap buffet and we had only one hour to eat lol how stressful. But a good experience ;) Went walking around window shopping, then went to bugis street and I don't know why we had this sudden and unintended shopping spree! I spent about $63, on a pair of shoes, shorts, belt and bag. wow.

Haha this post is so long! I'll post again soon I hope. byeee

2010-08-11T22:28:00.005+08:00

If there's fate we'll meet again.

NDP, pasta de waraku!

2010-08-07T21:56:00.004+08:00

Finally, my long awaited long weekend! Well there was school today at freaking 8AM, bio to be specific... and it's just another make up test in disguise. I think I practically didn't know how to do anything but whatever. I was falling asleep during lam's spa planning lesson, even though I sat right in front of her. I really couldn't take it! too tired from yesterday sigh..

So yesterday was NDP celebrations in school, which was quite lame and boring as usual. 4 years of it and it's still the same haha. After that went to airport terminal 2 pasta de waraku with the rest of the volleyball team (well, most of us) and mr fung! We finally fixed a time to go use up our well deserved $180 voucher from sports carnival last year. yeah man volleyball champion pdp ;) I had squid ink pasta which was nice and NOT DISGUSTING! >:( okay so jiaxin took lots of pics as usual, then some of us (me, xiwen, jiaxin, jeremy and kangwei) went to century sq to watch Inception. It's a rather nice movie that makes you think alot, because it's so complex and complicated :O Before that we went to toys r us to play around haha, and that was quite fun. Rushed to dinner at macs then tuition after that, and I was totally zoning out in tuition already.. poor me, poor tired eyes.

Tomorrow I'm going swimming! yeahh I don't know why I just have this sudden urge to swim. Anw, I'm still missing volleyball a hell lot. Playing it a little once a week at the junior's trainings makes me very happy! Can't wait till A levels are over, then I can start going for more beach vb and play matches with the juniors. nice (Y). Alright I'll blog again soon I hope. Have a great weekend!

SPIKE! 2010

2010-08-01T23:44:00.003+08:00

I am so terribly sunburnt now! The worst sunburn I've ever gotten in my life really. My shoulder area, neck and face hurt so bad that wearing clothes or the slightest contact with it hurtsss. Yup so everyone should stand further away from me otherwise I'll probably end up kicking someone.

Yesterday, I went for the beach vball competition SPIKE!2010 with friends!
It was great because the people were really nice, we made new friends, I finally got to play beach vball again and it was a relaxing getaway from the hectic school week. perfect (Y). Even though we didn't manage to make it very far, which I thought was a pity, the whole experience playing with the team was fun enough (: And just so happens, yesterday was a damn hot and sunny day which is so unlike the weather recently. That explains the sunburn. I spent the night before at xiwen's place cos tuition ended late and I live so far from sentosa -.- We got up at 6am :( so early for a saturday morning sighh... and we left the beach at 6pm. honestly shocking man.. we spent about 10 hours at the beach :O Went for dinner at carls jr with the team, spammed drinks and I got home lateee. Bathing was horrible too because of my skin. Totally knocked out once I was on my bed, near 12, and I woke up at 1pm today NICE.

Tomorrow's the start of the week again... sian. I really wonder what more exciting things can happen in school seriously. The same things just keep happening and I'm so damn sick and tired of it. The thought of school and some people just ruins my mood totally. What a spoiler.. Alright got to go sleep now. My skin's red and my eyes are red too! scary... haha hope next week will pass quickly.

complain round 1

2010-07-25T16:51:00.002+08:00

This week's been SO TIRING.. and come to think of it, it's actually our first week using the new timetable. But I'm already exhausted by one week! crap there's still week 5,6,7,8,9,10,11 more :O There was chem mock paper during protected time on tues, bio spa planning on wed, chem diagnostic test and bio revision exercise on thurs, which wasn't an just exercise actually.. more like another test in disguise, and I had to go back early in the morning on a bloody SATURDAY to do 2 econs csq 'tests'.
So damn pissed off at the school seriously. Of all things, make us come back on a saturday?! How fun. It's already so damn unfair to have 5 school days but 2 days in a weekend, and we're either finishing up work or studying for some stupid upcoming test during the weekends. Making us come back on a saturday for a test is really such a scheming and evil method to eat into our so-called 'rest day'. ANGRY >:( I know I've whined and complained to my friends over this countless of times, but I can't help but do so.

I can't believe we still have so many more weeks to go before our useless few days of study break. And apparently, we're gonna have less than a month of study break before A levels because the school refuses to let us off maybe they miss us too much or something. Screw them seriously. One month to study for JCTs was obviously not enough, what makes them think less than a month to study for A levels is???

I hate this school I hate it I hate it I hate it!!! I hate the way the school works, I hate how the principal only cares about the school's reputation, I hate how student welfare is ignored (the student welfare department should just close down), I hate how the teachers 'try' to help you and be so CONCERNED but end up making me hate them even more. I know I'm not the only one going through this but I'm the type of person who can't handle stress at all. I just want to quickly get out of this damned place nowwwwwww :'( I strongly discourage anyone who hates studying to go to a jc. You'll regret and wished you never came. I'm really amazed at myself. Why would I want to come into a jc for 2 extra years? Isn't 2 years already enough to drive you crazy.. yet I opted for 4 years haha clever me. I guessed I would have been much happier if I were in a poly instead.

reality.

2010-07-20T22:04:00.005+08:00

Today was a bad day. I didn't know one lesson could screw up my mood for the rest of the day. Well now I do. It was so humiliating, so stupid, so demoralising. Thanks for letting me have a taste of what its like to feel so helpless and lousy. It just reminded me again of how I was spoken to in the same way almost exactly a year ago. Humiliating. Held back the tears the entire lesson, here and there sometimes in the rest of the day whenever it comes to my mind. I think I'm too weak emotionally. I may seem strong on the outside, not shedding a tear for sad movies or dramas. But when it comes to myself, it's a whole different story. Suddenly I really hate school 100-times more than what I always have. Now, I bloody hate econs.

a little getaway

2010-07-15T23:04:00.002+08:00

This is a totally random post haha. I just watched this documentary on animal planet that totally awed and inspired me. I never knew that the plains of mongolia was so beautiful. The lives of the nomads seemed peaceful and enjoyable, closely linked with that of horses. Wild herds of horses roam the plains and it was such an amazing sight to see unlike the common lion prides on documentaries. I wish I could have been there, sharing such a close bond with horses because I really love them. Haha come to think of it, I've been neglecting my collection of TY horses! Oh no I better continue with it soon.

By the way, Spain are world cup champions!! (: Well even though the match was decided only by a single goal, every minute of it was still exciting and I'm so proud of them for winning wc for the first time (: They fought hard and totally deserved it. I'll be looking forward to their performance in wc 2014!

World Cup 2010

2010-07-11T19:07:00.002+08:00

World Cup finals is tonight/tmr morning!!! I'm so super duper excited cos Spain's playing in the finals! :D omg please win please win. I know that they're capable of it as proven from their previous matches. I don't care about the mean things others say about spain, because I know that they definitely fought hard and deserved to be in the finals. Every team played hard to get as far as possible, and I believe whoever who wins any match, deserved it. Afterall, they won by goals. Unless the match has some controversial goal or bad refereeing then yeah, maybe the losers have the right to complain, curse and swear. But from what I've been watching, Spain played great and they're a strong yet modest team which is why I respect and support them. They're so much alike liverpool and arsenal to me. Of course, I respect netherlands as well for being able to make it this far in the world cup. I'm honestly impressed by them and I'll congratulate whoever the winner is tonight. That's called sportsmanship. Go Spain!!

Post JCTs.

2010-07-05T20:37:00.004+08:00

Hello world, I'm currently slacking away my youthday. It's great!
JCTs just ended last week on thursday for me, and the 2 weeks before that was horrible and tiring... :/ I'm sure it's not just the case for me but almost everyone else too, but it's just that having to mug every single day and night because you know you have no other choice just sucks. And you can't take any long breaks or do anything fun because you know you can't afford that kind of time. sigh poor life, poor me, poor us. JCTs are over but that's definitely no where near the end of it, yet. In 2 months time it'll be prelims and then soon it'll be it. shit.. So right now I can't really relax even though exams just ended. Tomorrow we'll probably be getting back our papers, at least most of them. Damn am I not mentally prepared for it hahaha. I just hope I won't be so screwed, that's all. That's not much to ask for right? Okay, on the brightside, this is the last damn JCT that I'll ever take YESSS. One step closer to freedom.

So on thursday after the last (chem) paper, I went home to pack and went to mich's house for sleepover with my fav girls! :) Great, because it made me feel like I'm having a holiday. Had dinner made by mich at her house, chatted, chilled, and we made a successful apple pie which was so yummy!! Watched movies and BOF the whole night till 4am, officially fell asleep at 4.30am, and woke up at 9.30am the next day to catch Toy Story 3 (: Had lunch at yoshinoya and my fav matcha ice cream before heading back in the stormy rain to continue BOF! We all lost track of time so ended up cabbing down to tuition even though we were a little late.. Overall it was really fun hanging out with the girls (:

Sunday, mich and wen went along with my family and I to resorts world for dinner and to catch the germany v argentina match on big screen! It was fun too, cos we had nice dinner and I got to show them around finally (: Spain's in the WC semis yesss!! jiayou spain please beat germany (Y). And I'm really praying for a holiday on monday cos of WC finals. pls pls pls pls.

Hope tomorrow will be a good day!

Hong Kong!

2010-06-15T00:09:00.003+08:00

Hello I know I haven't posted in quite a long time! I've been really busy lately even though it's the holidays.. (*ahem* busy..with the wrong stuff. oops) Right.. So I just came back not long ago from my first trip to Hong Kong! :) In general it was really quite fun and a good experience so everyone should go! Did lots of shopping, lots of eating, and tried quite a few crazy things that I never thought I would.
I'll start with some interesting things I noticed about HK:
- there are a lot of fat sparrows everywhere and they're brave enough to get close to people unlike those cowards in singapore.
- the people keep to their right on escalators and stairs.
- their so-called 'ez-link cards' are called 'octopus' (how cute!). So everything is like 'tap your octopus here', 'top up octopus here', 'in case you lose your octopus, contact..'. Really a very cute term to use.
- people hardly wear shorts, and they have very unique dress sense.

So on the first day, I took SQ from terminal 3 for the first time YESSS! It was quite nice, and I was very amused by the butterfly garden and the hugely fat kois in the pond. A 3 hour flight is too short for movies :( So I only managed to watch 'how to train your dragon', which was cute! reached HK in the late evening, checked into royal plaza hotel, wasted no time and went onto the nearby bustling streets to search for nice dinner. Ended up at some small street side noodle place and I had some beef noodles that didn't have much meat and didn't taste very nice either. nevermind! I tried CHOU DOU FU! which wasn't really THAT smelly to me actually, and tasted not bad haha. We found this REALLY good dessert shop! And we promised to eat there every night and we kept that promise. yeah man. Did some light shopping along the streets then headed back!

On the second day, we took the MTR (i still don't know what it stands for) to Disneyland! Well I was expecting..more, but I was rather disappointed firstly because of its size. And probably because it's so small, the rides are limited and that reduces all the fun already. I guess I went to Tokyo Disneyland few years back and it was so much better so in comparison HK's isn't really that great. Well we had complimentary entrance tickets so doesn't matter! heh heh. Took a few rides which weren't thrilling at all, watched the parade and shopped abit then left for the mall with all the FACTORY OUTLETS of good brands at relatively cheap prices. Salivate. Did shopping AGAIN.. and by the time we headed back my legs were gonna break, really. :( So much walking for the day.

On the third day, we took the MTR again to Ocean Park! It was big. Bigger than Disneyland, but had nothing much to do either I think. We took the really cool cable car up the mountain! It's the longest cable car ride I've ever taken, and the scenery was beautiful (: Watched the marine show which was not bad, went to a few exhibits and the highlight of the day is that I took a rollercoaster with 3 loops for the first time in my life. You don't know how scared I am of looped coasters! Ended up it was pretty fun! The loops weren't scary at all haha. And because I had to accompany my thrill-seeking sister, I also took the free fall ride omg seriously I never expected myself to be brave enough for it. It brought us up for about 10 secs to look at the view from the top (but I didn't concentrate on looking I was counting down to when it'll drop), then it dropped, free fall. And according to my parents, I screamed really loudly HAHA. So proud of myself really. Took the pirate ship with my bro and dad, then left after that. It's funny how I went to Ocean Park but only saw like... a few animals? I only saw dolphins and seals (during the show), interesting goldfishes, pandas and a tiny alligator. THE END. wow so much for ocean park haha. Dad's HK friend then brought us to this island to eat seafood for dinner! We took a long half-hr boat ride which was fun because it's windy (but really cold), and we got to see the HK night view that was really breathtaking! Much nicer than singapore's night view.

On the fourth day, we spent the entire day shopping to our heart's content back at the factory outlets and after that along many many streets and it was fruitful because everyone got something(s) (: At night, packed our stuff and went back the next morning. I'm really satisfied with this trip cos it allowed me to unwind and relax abit before mugging my life away. The next time I'm going overseas would be after A levels. Looking forward!!

Okay so what have I been so busy with apart from my holiday? My 4 year old fujitsu died on me, and now I'm using my dad's old com temporarily. The speakers of my fujitsu spoilt, and somehow my dad's com's speakers can't seem to be working either. UGH I am so not fated with sound >:(
Barely started studying much... everytime lam asks how's my revision, I stutter and not know what to say. Sigh... Until next time!

NAPFA and history repeats.

2010-05-22T23:54:00.002+08:00

Finally have the mood to blog again. Well, school lately has been really tiring somehow... I don't know why either. Timetable's the same but our workload's just getting heavier by the day. sigh... Everyday we either end late, or have lots of things to do at home/in school. I really hate JC2 life now. Really really hate it. And it's only been half a year! Wow time sure passes so slowly... In addition to studies and work, school social life's been a piece of shit as well. I don't need to elaborate, it's just the same old STUPIDIDIOTICANNOYINGPISSINGOFFDISGUSTING things happening, again. Same old stuff like that time, I'm not surprised anymore. All the things they're doing is just fueling the hatred and anger. But seriously, they are so damn selfish minded, childish and stupid. UGH. Freaking ruin my whole JC life. Now everyday I dread going to school because there's nothing to look forward to. No volleyball, work to be done, so many lessons to attend, hanging out's a problem. Oh gosh please save me, save us. :(

I don't know why but recently in school I just feel so alone. Like everyone's just somewhere else, doing different things. This sucks.

Alright I'm done complaining. Kind of. Went back to school for NAPFA 5 items today! Yes, on a saturday. How fun. Seriously, can't the school just STOP eating into our already-so-few days of freedom?! Like making us go back on saturdays and first week of hols and last week of hols YUCK what's their freaking problem just leave us alone for awhile will die ah. >:( Plus lam's weekly remedial in the hols. GREAT. Okay... so 5 items were surprisingly tiring. Must be because I became unfit.. This is the first time in my 4 years of TJ life that I've felt so terrible running 2.4km. Felt like stopping halfway but I can't let myself down so I didn't, but ended up puking and getting all giddy.. first time sigh. I wasn't even like that after running 7 or 10km. But I still got my full 30 points anyway, just that some items didn't really reach my personal targets. Sigh nevermind, I must learn to be contented :)

The June Hol is gonna pass so fast I won't have time studying everything (as usual), and guess what I'm going to HK! Happy because I've never been there but heard it's nice, but then that means I'll have 5 days less of studying. Goodluck to me.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T23:11:00.002+08:00

Hello! School life's so extremely boring and mundane. It's been 9 days since our last match, since we've had training, and I'm already feeling volleyball-sick. I feel like I haven't been exercising in years and the fats are probably already invading my muscles. SIGH. My schedule's getting busier by the day.. It's either tests, more tutorials to be done, stupid gp presentation, SPA, NAPFA, remedials or make up lessons. So so so tiring.... come on I want the next half of the year to quickly pass then I'll be slacking my ass off at home and everyone will be envious ahahaha. >=)
Hmm hmm now that I'm blogging, I realised I have nothing to talk about actually..BORING.

Oh right, last week I celebrated my mom's birthday with my family. And we took the flyer for the first time! Well it was...okay. lol. At least I felt that it was worth the experience for once. Just once is enough (: And today's mother's day. I wanna thank my mom for everything she's done for me since the day I was born! Love you mommy. I just feel kinda bad.. that it today wasn't well celebrated. Hmm.. nevermind I'll make it up to her by being nice everyday. Tomorrow is the start of another tiring week of school, plus tuition. Ugh. Jiayou me!

End of season

2010-04-25T23:15:00.004+08:00

Well, no matter how I hate to admit it, season's over and honestly I'm really very sad about it. I'm not sad because we lost. I'm sad because there'll no longer be trainings and video screenings and complaining about training outdoors or rushing through lunch to set up the hall. I'll really miss all these wonderful memories that joining TJVB has given me, and all the experience I've gained from the day I joined in 2007. I still remembered, the first time I went up to the hall for trials, I couldn't even dig 5 balls against the wall. But today, I'm tjvb captain and I'm proud to lead such a great team who has been with me through thick and thin all these years. They've given me such relentless support and really, that makes my whole life in TJ worthwhile. Volleyball has brought meaning to my life and it gave me something to look forward to everyday I go to school. It's amazing, how all of us who have completely no volleyball background, can improve so much and go so far in the A div. I know that we couldn't make it into the second round. But hey, we beat 2 teams in our group and gave the 2 other ones a really hard time. We lost by a small margin, but for beginners like us, it's already a great achievement because we put up a good fight. I believe my passion for volleyball will never die, and I'll continue loving and playing the sport whenever I can. NTU here I come.

I'm really thankful for what Mr Fung has done for us all these years. He's the one that so patiently taught and groomed us from scratch to what we are today. It really takes alot of time, effort and patience to teach a bunch of clueless people volleyball, really. So I really wanna thank him for letting me become what I am now and for all my achievements. It's because of him my passion for volleyball is so great and I'll forever be grateful to him for being my first ever volleyball coach. In my 3+ years in TJVB, he has never scolded or raised his voice at us even if we did something wrong or kept making the same mistakes. That's how compromising and caring he is towards us. Thank you so much for everything Mr Fung. I promise I'll go down and help you out whenever I can to train the juniors no matter how much I dislike them.
Next, I wanna thank the seniors who would come down from time to time to play with us and correct our mistakes, and even supporting us during our season. Also, the guys team for helping and quietly (literally) supporting us along the way.

Right now, I think I'll need alot of time to adjust to life without volleyball. I wonder if I'll ever get used to it because everytime I see the juniors training I'll just feel all nostalgic and sad again. No having more shirts and towels than notes taking up space in my bag, no more lugging a fat shoebag with kneeguards to school. Man, it's just been 2 days but I'm feeling all depressed already. For now, I hope that TJVB guys can make it into at least the top 4 for A div. They have the potential so keep training hard and jiayou!

TJC 2-0 RJC

2010-04-16T22:38:00.003+08:00

Monday was a great win. It really felt so good I just wanna keep winning. Thanks all who came down to support us (: The team did well and I loved our mood, cheers and support for each other (: Keep it up girls we must do better for the next few matches! Please please please. JIAYOU!!

One day

2010-04-14T21:57:00.002+08:00

Come on TJVB girls we can do this!! :) Tomorrow is it. I know we'll all be nervous and all, but just keep calm, and just go there and give it our best! I know we can. Today's team talk was great, because it's like we all opened up to each other and the words I've been meaning to say all this while is finally said! I just hope now that everyone will seriously think about what they want to achieve here and try their hardest to achieve it together! Second round here we come. (: Please please please I pray to whoever's willing to answer my prayers to let us play a streak of good, winning matches. I'll be really happy if we can get into the second round. please please.

Jiayou girls!!(:

2 more days

2010-04-13T21:40:00.002+08:00

2 more days to our first match! :O a little excited, yet nervous. a little anticipating, but then again fear. Nevermind. We must throw away our fears! Muster courage, determination, and most importantly, confidence. But not complacency. I believe we can do it, really. Because we have proven to ourselves that if we want to win, we can! I was insipred by vball guys' match today. Jiayou TJVB! (:

a little under the weather

2010-04-07T20:59:00.005+08:00

stupid gedine, you should be the last to act like this.

Reality

2010-04-04T15:57:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's the start of another week UGHH. I hate full monday-friday weeks, even though almost every week's like that. I guess it's cos I've been living 4 day weeks lately, so thinking about a full week feels tiring. First it's the march hols, then MCTs which lasted for 4 days, then I went to school only on monday and thursday this week.

Hmm okay so sports meet 10' was just over on thursday. Great that it was a half day! Vball tended the water(100 plus)booth as usual and it was rather fun actually. Apparently vball always does the water booth every year for I don't know how many years hahaha. Such a cool tradition. Apart from water booth, I didn't really do anything for sports meet, just collected my beloved long jump trophy, watched people run, and cheerleading. Oh, and I still don't understand why gamma cheerleading got last. But at least we were still overall girl winners and overall sports meet champs! again. Haha nice (Y)..

So after so much hype and talk over A div, it's scary to say that it's in less than 2 weeks. Really, it's as if reality's just hit me. We've been training so hard for the past year, and not so hard for the years before that, talking so much about how we play, how we should change and improve. And before we know it, all that we've been preparing for is just in less than 2 weeks! It's kind of scary how everything's coming so fast, and once it starts it's gonna end really quickly too. Not that I want it to.. I need to get the team together, consolidate everything, just talk and get into the zone already. This is what we've been working so hard for, so let's not waste it alright team TJ. We can do this!

Gastric flu

2010-03-31T21:16:00.003+08:00

Hello world! Right now I'm recovering from a really bad sickness. Gastric flu. First time getting it, but somehow it's like gastric flu+fever+flu+cough lalala. So I felt feverish on monday night after coming home from training, had a fever but refused to take medicine (serves me right..) and the next morning best la. Hmm actually I didn't even manage to survive till morning. I woke up at 1+AM thinking it was 5+ and had to go to school, but ended up throwing up in the toilet. Couldn't sleep at all... cos another one was coming. Tolerated till 5AM and threw up again. x_x slept abit, woke up at 9AM to throw up AGAIN.. UGH. It's like there's already nothing in my stomach so I'm just throwing up water and stomach acid. When I was walking to the toilet I almost fainted..man. It was really scary cos I never felt that before. Everything's just a blur and spinning and you feel super giddy that you can't even balance! :( Well, I had diarrhoea at the same time, but only one toilet bowl, so sad.. Went to see doc and got 2 days mc. Came home from clinic, threw up againnn... took med and SLEPT LIKE A PIG hahaha nicee. Had to take 4 kinds of pills :/ 2 of which are drowsy med sighh.. Still had a fever yesterday night, but got better today! and I went for training. heh. Just needed to rest more in the morning.

I officially declare that my body has the best timing to fall sick. It always happens after exams, and goes away when I want it to. great. So I didn't manage to personally collect my MCT papers. oh well! Guess I'll just be screwed another day then. On a side note, my nose's blocked :(

End of MCTs

2010-03-25T22:37:00.005+08:00

Yay I should start posting more happy posts from now on! Even I feel sad from reading my posts. Sigh.. What to do if life has more downs than ups? Okay nevermind back to the happy part!

MCTs are finally over! Oh yesss the feeling's great even though I know it'll only last for this weekend and it's back to school and work and tests next week all over again. Reality. :/ I shall not whine and complain over how badly done the papers were, because that won't change anything and I'm already well aware of the deep shit I'm in hahaha. GG woohoo. I can already foresee... teachers talking to me about my studies and preparation for A lvls, finding out how I studied for MCTs (sounds familiar right, like JCTs last year), and worst of all, Mrs Lam's nagging and "concern" and PTD OMGGG. hate it hate it hate it. I feel so sad that my mom has to come almost every year to hear the same shit. SIGH why am I not clever nor hardworking... genes, genes.ck

Haha anyway, for bio and chem paper, I had bad luck cos bad omen was around. It was really...awkward, weird, and annoying. yeah, pissing off. It's weird how sadness turns to anger. I know I'm stupid, but looking at chat logs, it just reminds me.. so much for a friend whom you trusted with your life.

Hmm okay so training stopped for a week. Crap I feel unfit now and totally lost touch. I'm just reminded of how soon A div is!!! In less than a month already. Man, we really need to start getting things together for real. Screw studies for awhile and just concentrate on compe man. We really need to focus and get the feeeeel. Haha we should have meditation during training or smth, that'll be cool. NTU VB here I come! Boo stupid xd going in 2 yrs later RARH go be a girl can >:(

On a random note, I realised as I grew older my posts are becoming more descriptive about feelings and thoughts rather than things that happen in my life. SO EMO. hahahaha. Okay no, EQ just went up and IQ went down. Damn.
Alright I guess my life's not that happy afterall so there's nothing to talk about HAHA. Sad, boring life of a J2.

Hurt.

2010-03-13T23:56:00.002+08:00

It's so hard... It's so hard to make everyone happy. What did I do wrong.. I'm trying to change after what you told me. Maybe I think too much. It doesn't feel good at all. All of a sudden I feel so stressed..so stressed..... I'm wondering..am I pushing you all too hard. Am I making you all hate me. It's not just about her. It's about everything.. How things have changed. I cried. But I had to quickly hide it before my mom sees me. My back hurts, my chest hurts even more..

dreams

2010-03-11T20:43:00.002+08:00

Hi blog. Why is it that my parents are so unsupportive of my ambitions and dreams? Guess what, my dad doesn't even know that I'm taking A levels this year. I can't blame him anyway, since he's been so busy with lots of stuff on his mind. I see him only two times a week now, how cool's that? Today, I told them I'm going for NTU open house, then they ask me, what do I intend to take in uni. Upon hearing design, ADM, they ask me what can I be in the future if I take design. My dad started saying jobs nowadays for design can't go very high, can't earn much blabla. My mom said they can't force me to do anything else cos I'm so bent on taking art already. I understand they're concerned for my future, but they way they put it is just so...hurtful. It's as if they're saying I won't be successful if I do art, but they have no choice but to let me do it because they can't convince me to do anything else. Well I'm sorry I'm too stupid to do science or accounting, and I'm sorry my lousy brain has no interest for law. If I became a doctor, I'll probably give wrong diagnosis and kill my patients. If I became an accountant I'll make my clients bankrupt. If I became a lawyer I'll lose my court cases. I'm just not cut out for all these. I'm sorry mom and dad if I sounded rude getting all angry over whatever you said, but no one would feel good knowing that their own parents aren't supportive of what their child is only able, and wants to do.. bleah. this is such an emo post. bye.

Clearing my mind

2010-03-09T21:19:00.004+08:00

Yay, I'm blogging again. Not because I'm damn free, but it's just that I can always do my work tmr HAHA. hmm this is bad.. Well, javelin heats was today and l.o.l, I couldn't do anything because I didn't know how to. But nevermind just took part for the fun of it.

I don't understand why some people can just be so irresponsible and rude. I don't know.. It's your duty, and your responsibility whether you like it or not. I don't see how you can bring yourself to just shirk off everything and claim that everything's bad just simply because you. don't. like. it. You should have expected this from the time you decided to join in the first place isn't it? Hey, in life, there're so many things we have to do even if we don't feel like doing it. And furthermore, you were the one who made this decision. You even make up excuses to miss outings or meetings? Ah.. I just can't talk you into anything can I. It's not like you'll listen anyway... You've become kinda rude lately. A little crude and insensitive but, oh well..

Why can't teachers be more understanding.. Competition period's coming up and they should understand that we'll be more caught up in trainings than in school work. What's with being excused from a friendly to go for a make up lesson? Crap shit. can't she just use her brains and think..

Today we settled jersey stuff for competition. We had to get jersey numbers. Numbers clashed and I'm sorry to say but.. she was such a drag. Things were already finally decided and settled, but she just kept going on about changing. Like enough already! ughh. But don't worry, I'm not shirking off any responsibility. Sometimes I really wonder.. how do you make a good leader? How do you make people respect and listen to you? I guess my bad temper's already a minus point for me. I'm trying! but man, it's really hard to do it on my own..

Sorry if this post is kind of offensive or anything.. just needed to clear my mind.

emerging victorious

2010-03-05T21:46:00.002+08:00

It's finally the end of the most tiring and intensive week of the term! Really man. I had 3 tests all squeezed into yesterday and today, and I only minimal-ly studied for them either about an hour the night before or during a free period on the day itself. Suckkkssss. Oh well but at least it's just a test and not MCTs! I guess nothing really counts anymore this year except for A levels. Sad, but true. Seeing all the seniors gathering in school today to collect their results makes me feel so anxious too. In one year's time it'll be me. haha. And I wonder what kind of feeling I'll get on that day.

Hmmm... this week's both really mentally and physically tiring. First up's monday training which was thankfully short but productive and useful. Familiarised with our positions. Next's shot put heats on tuesday! Well it sucked considering how I don't know how to throw it and my wrist was injured kinda badly from saturday training.. nevermind! Didn't expect much anyway :) I didn't even get through qualifying haha! Oh well. Then it was training on wednesday which was...o..kay. got to play as a full team finally! And it's also my sis's 21st birthday! Happy birthday jie :) Went out for dinner till quite late so by the time I got home, forget about studying haha.

Thursday was disgusting bio and econs test.. and long jump heats! Yesss this is the only thing which made my week seem slightly better. Unexpectedly, I came in first. There were so many other good jumpers around and I was really intimidated by them initially. Thank goodness! Haha I wanna thank xiwen for being there to support me and tong for encouraging me :) Won it for you guys! Well during the jumps some idiot was there. Honestly, it was very disturbing... It's like the person who screwed up some part of your life is watching you. And that feeling sucks. But then again, maybe I have to thank him for making me get that extra energy rush to jump. The rush I feel when I want to punch his face. I needed to prove that I can achieve something and live totally fine without him in my life.

Last night after coming home from long jump, I got a bad rash all over my body! yuck yuck yuck. Red patches and dots popping out from my skin. and they're terribly itchy! :O Went to the doctor and got medicine, slept like a pig cos of drowsiness and I was still drowsy in school today.. I forgot to bring my medicine to school! So by mid day my rash came back again, double time. It was really worse than yesterday. Still went for lunch with the girls, tolerating the itchiness the whole way, came home, ate med and slept again. Hope it gets fine soon!

CNY 10'

2010-02-13T23:55:00.002+08:00

HELLO. It's CNY eve today and I just got home awhile ago with a red face.
f.y.i. I'm not drunk. :p I didn't even drink alot! Haha nvm.

Yesterday was annual road run and cny carnival! It's the first time I ever felt so accomplished ever since I came into TJ. I came in 18th for girls! Doesn't sound that good eh. But what if I told you I got 75th last year. haha. YEAHHH MAN the thing I like most about it is that I get a trophy. Trophies > Medals. That's all I ever wanted even though I know trophies and medals are cheapskate and worthless hahaha. But they mean alot to me. (: Okay actually I got this 40% off asics shoes voucher. Can buy new court shoes yay (: So extremely glad I managed to achieve something in road run (jc) in my last year here. Oh plus my team (who I only found out 2 people) got 3rd overall (: that's another medal YAY YAY YAY. Sorry lah if you think I'm such a brag now. But who cares this is my blog and right now I'm celebrating :D Made myself, my family, my friends, mr fung proud. (Y)

I feel confident and good about myself only in athletics and vball. Really. That's kinda sad isn't it? When it comes to academics and any other aspect of school life, I feel like such a loser. Sigh. Hate school hate school hate school! They should give a one week holiday for cny. :/ Oh and the wannabes are gonna make a vball shirt. cool shitzzx man! Hope the plan fails. yeahh. Haha aww man I shouldn't be so evil on cny. (A) But still, they're super annoying RARH.

Okay sidetrack abit, chinese new yr songs are playing on tv now. haha. Happy cny people it's past 12 already (: Don't really have the cny mood this year but oh well. Hong baos are good heh heh.

DAMN THESE PEOPLE

2010-02-03T22:06:00.005+08:00

Asses who look down and mock others when they themselves aren't anywhere better should just look at themselves and shut the hell up. It seems that mockery alone isn't enough but spreading nonsense seems more thrilling. Screw off and get a life. You deserved what you got now.
Well maybe thanks to that, we'll work harder. When your team is screwed up, I'll be the first to laugh in your faces.

AND YOU. Think you're oh-so-high and mighty? Well think again. You still have 2 more damn years before you can try pushing me off. What I say don't matter to you and you think you can tell me what to do? Fat hope you whinny ass. SCREW YOU TOO.

Last person is A BASTARD x100000000000000^infinity omg words can't describe how much I'm furious and fuming whenever I see you. I can't stand how you're so happy and enjoying life, basking in popularity, being loud and COOL. my ass. There you've got what you wanted! Congrats to you. got a cool girlfriend now right. damn cool lah. How befitting of you. Yeah, right after I'm labeled as 'not cool enough to be you friend'. I'm filled with hatred for you now.

SIGH why do so many shit heads lurk in tj..I think i'm pmsing but whatever. If I had a gun I'd kill them all.

Damn, I need green tea. :/

Bad Day

2010-01-20T22:46:00.003+08:00

Today was the worst day ever. Things just didn't fall together and everyone got moodless, and it was me who started it, again. UGHHHHHHH. I felt very stressed today... the sudden grouping just reminds me of how near comp is, and seeing us so unprepared for it made me feel terrible. I cried today. amazing. I need to be the most calm, the coolest, the most energetic, the loudest. I need to lead. But I admit, I can't do this alone at all. I can't do it if no one's responding, listening to what I say, or supporting me. I haven't been a good captain, but I'll try. I'll try because people have expectations of me and people get affected by me. It's scary how everything's so senstitive. We're all dependent on one another cos we're a team. I don't want us to just talk all the time saying we'll work harder and all. I want to see us do it. Competition is really really soon... For the sake of the team, mr fung, and especially for ourselves, please work hard.

Praying for the team

2010-01-19T22:54:00.001+08:00

Oh please, I pray really hard for my team to get a good grouping fro A div tomorrow... We want this so bad, skills and teamwork matter, but our opponents matter too. Please please bless us with a good grouping!

First school week 2010

2010-01-15T22:19:00.005+08:00

Oh my goddddd finally the end of the first week of school in 2010! Marks the start of horrifying J2 LIFEEEE AHHH. And I can affirm that I'm so exhausted already, damn. I guess my body's just not adjusted to the school mode yet, so waking up and staying awake in lessons seems to be a SLIGHT problem. Well but at least I feel that I've been a very attentive and good girl this week (: keep it up gedine.

So apart from lessons and a disgusting tuesday, we've been having trainings. 3 times already, and tomorrow too. Oh man that's 4 :O But I don't mind actually cos I think we need it. At least we're improving! :) Good job team. But we can do so much more alright? Jiayou.
Hmm I've a new goal in life now. I want to set a new record for pull ups in napfa. Please encourage me to do so! I want to leave a mark in TJ before I leave. Shall train everyday if possible!

Okay now I have nothing to say already. What a boring life. More emo stuff? Those friends I used to talk to have disappeared. I don't know why it's happening to me anyway. Maybe it's just me then. Oh well! Just live everyday and get out of this school asap, ignore everything else..

Sigh.

2010 revolution

2010-01-01T23:18:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year! Oh wow even though I don't really look forward to 2010 at all, I still hope that it'll be a good year. please please please be a good one. :| Everyone has their new year resolutions and so do I! 3 simple ones..

I wish that,

#1 our volleyball team will improve quickly together and make it far in the upcoming A div.
#2 I'll cope well in my studies, do well for A levels and make my family proud.
#3 my family and friends will stay healthy and happy.

amen.

Alright moving on, guess how I welcomed the new year? The coolest way ever. I caught a fever! yay wow. Puked 3 times yesterday morning (well, last year. haha), still went for training and started aching feverishly all over, came home, got a temperature and slept my whole 2009 away! Didn't even last for the countdown.. sigh. It's okay! Not like I look forward to it anyway. Wonder how it feels like getting squished, pushed and trampled on in orchard. hmm.

Well I have more stuff to say! I watched avatar 3 times already hahaha. crazy? I don't care if you call me that (: tan xiwen bought me the dvd! excited excited happy happy! :D

Okay I better post this before 12am. It's a revolutionary post. Bye!

Avatar.

2009-12-22T00:10:00.004+08:00

Haha I'm posting again again! Because I have something I'm so excited to tell everyone :)
Avatar is such a damn awesome movie!!! Omg, I think I'm loving it to bits. And come to think of it, it's pure animation! freaking cool... It's so impressive, what technology can do nowadays. The plot of the movie, action, music, everything. It's just great. I think I'm going to catch the 3D version of it again in the cinemas! Haha it seems that maybe for once, newspapers aren't actually just over rating a movie, it really is good. At least to me, and I believe a whole lot of other people. heh heh. :) This is the first movie to have awed me so much after Narnia. Yay more nice fantasy movies should be made!

Okay today we trained, and when we were drying the court halfway, it started pouring like mad. -_- totally great timing. So we moved to the squash court, until it stopped a short while later... seriously the rain is mocking us or something. Then we dried the super wet-with-puddles-of-water court with the sponge thingys plus newspapersssss. Took us a whole lot of time and a whole lot of energy. Man, it was tiring. But the feeling of looking at a nice and dry court when we started training again really gives me a sense of satisfaction haha.

Hope tomorrow will be a good day with nice weather for training! :)

Pray.

2009-12-19T15:13:00.006+08:00

Hi blog! The holidays are starting to become a little more busy, maybe because there's not much time left but so many things left to do. I'm feeling a little sense of urgency now. hahaha lousy me.
Anyway, only 2 days of not training and I'm feeling weird and unhealthy already! I guess I'm too used to going for training almost everyday that now it stops for a few days, I'm feeling uncomfortable about it. Another 2 days more to go! I'll wait.

Hmm.. come to think of it, december's ending soon, so we're left with about 4 months or so left to train. I'm scared, and I'm worried. I hope we'll be stronger, better, enduring.
I went to the temple with my mom yesterday morning to pray. I prayed for our team next year, for my studies, my family. I even got an apparently charmed bracelet. Call me superstitious, but I just hope it helps.

Well, Michelle's back! :) after less than half a year. Haha that's good that's good. Didn't feel that long after all. We'll be spending lots of time together for the rest of the holidays! Homework? What's homework??
;)

Watched New Moon recently on my sister's com! So glad I didn't waste money on it in the theatres. I didn't think it was very good at all. The main actors sucked, they seem to be just monotonously reciting their script. Maybe they got employed just for their looks. But then again, I don't even think they're that good looking anyway. Well, I guess people love it just cos of the actors or the plot. The music used in the show's so boring. It makes the supposedly exciting parts not so exciting anymore. And after awhile, I'm like, 'oh the shows over already?' Okay. I didn't feel the climax. Haha. Maybe they'll have a nicer 3rd movie.

Gonna watch Avatar today! Yay excited :) Heard it's good. And ratings from the newspaper's quite high too. Same director as titanic! Cool. And apparently the movie took 10 years to be made. o.o That's what I call hardwork man.

Haha for a random, 'I'm bored'-post, it's quite long eh! Not bad at all. Will blog again when I feel like it. bye!

Life of bad timings

2009-12-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

Haha I'm getting bored. man. There's nothing to do on the internet nowadays.. I'm either on facebook spying on people's albums etc, bejeweling like mad but always failing to break my current score, checking for manga updates or blog(very few)-hopping. boo.
Okay, gunbound's a new addition to 'my kill time' list (: Feels nice playing again, it's as if I'm relieving my secondary school days when I game till the wee hours of morning and have my mom peeping in all of a sudden, then she gets angry. Oh well. Haha I even remember using my bolster to block the bottom of my door so that it'll look as if my lights are turned off. haha.

Hmm.. that idiot's been really annoying lately. More annoying than usual. I feel freaking stalked. Stalked all the way from school to msn to training and now to gunbound. SCREW OFF. ughh! I know I sound damn mean to shun someone like that. Afterall, I know how it feels to be in his position anyway. I thought I already made it quite clear when I continuously turned him down. Maybe he's just too determined or just plain dumb. But sorry, I can't fake a nice tone, happy face when I'm feeling frustrated enough. So just go away and leave me alone. Sorry I blocked you on msn, you're too irritating.

Lately, you started acting differently. I can tell. It's like what people say afterall! Women's instincts. (just that I don't admit I'm a woman, yet.) The way you talk, everything. Hmm. It's been making me think so much, distracting and confusing. I'm thinking... It's so sudden, and kind of unrealistic. I hope I'm the one thinking too much.
Sigh, after looking at several incidents in my life, it's filled with bad timings. Really bad timings... Things just don't happen when I want it to, and then when it happens, I just don't know how to handle it.

.

2009-12-09T23:26:00.002+08:00

Weee I'm bored so I shall blog again. :) Well, I'm glad to say that, I think we played a little better yesterday as compared to monday. Good job. But still, we can do so much better alright? jiayou girls! I hope we won't sink back into that disastrous state again tomorrow. Please don't, I think my lifespan's been shortened enough already.

Okay so... hmm what should I say. Ah yes, I finally started on my holiday homework. Well GP at least! Went to coffee bean at the airport today with wen. Not bad it was quite productive :)

Well just talking randomly.. Seeing friends who broke up and get all depressed, I feel sad for them. But it sets me thinking, life's worth so much more than relationships. And I think about what I have now, I think I feel thankful enough. Yup. I'm thankful. Even though people whom I used to care so much about have walked out my life, it just shows you who cares the most, and who are most true to you. Hm.. life's experiences really helps us to see things better doesn't it. Oh my, I sound so emo. Haha but don't worry I'm not. I just think it's good to reflect on things once in a while. I won't be sad over you anymore.

Try.

2009-12-07T22:21:00.003+08:00

Haha I'm bored so I should blog now. Sadly, there's really nothing much going on in my life. Been having trainings on our own since mr fung isn't going to come anytime soon, and worse is, we can't even use the hall for apparently the whole of the month. I hope not... It's so stupid and pissing off! The holiday is the best period to train before school starts and all the distractions and homework pour in, and now we're told that we can't use the hall. shit.

Today we set up the hall nicely and pumped the balls, only to get chased out and we had to keep everything again. Totally great way of warming up. The guys were supposedly training with us today, and I think it ended up becoming them training us instead. It was horrible and disastrous. I feel bad for the guys to be stuck with losers. I think we hinder their training, and maybe provide some form of entertainment for them to watch us play so badly. I know it's no use complaining and swearing at the air like I did, I want to see us trying harder. I don't want to hear repeated sorries and shaking heads when we screw up a ball, I want to see us get the next one nicely if we didn't do that well for the previous one. It's no use getting all annoyed and frustrated but not do anything right? Okay, but that's what I think I did anyway..
Think about it, weve been training so hard, so often, so long. And all for what? To see improvement and feel that sense of achievement and satisfaction. I really don't want to see all our effort go down the drain, making the same mistakes and screwing up the same way over and over again. Use the things we've learnt, think about what went wrong, and change. Please. Not just everyone else, I have to too. I want all of us to try together.

We can do this.

2009-11-29T23:57:00.004+08:00

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jkdfhbvdfjrhvb,jhtrfvjshbtrvjshdfbrvjhdfsbtvjhrtgvjhsdBVMHGVHJGCHJafdvadfkjbvaakjdfhbav
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Sorry

2009-11-16T22:19:00.003+08:00

Today, I got over frustrated I guess.. I'm sorry.
But I hope you all do realise what made me like that in the first place.
I tried tolerating and keeping it in. I really did. But it just went on and on, I just blew it. Sorry. I know we are all trying, but I think maybe it's not enough? We all think we have time. However I don't think so. Everyone else is already working towards their best, and here we are still struggling with basics. I know things can't be forced, but it's just so disappointing and worrying to see things moving at this pace.

I'll try my best to be more optimistic and keep my cool. I don't want to be looked down on by certain people. I don't want my abilities to be doubted. So I'm sorry, but please try to understand this responsibility.

OP OVER

2009-11-15T14:53:00.003+08:00

Haha OP is over! which also means that the dreaded PW is over too!! :D
It feels like OP was over a long time ago, but actually it was this week. :O nevermind, I think it's good that time passes slowly ;) We've been having trainings the entire week. tiring, but I don't mind (:
I just finished watching gundam seed destiny! AGAIN. hahaha. yup I must admit I love that anime so I can just watch it over and over again. (: I just watched chrno crusade in march so I guess I won't be watching that yet.. hmm.. so I'm left with lots of dvds to watch :D

Ughh on a side note, there's school tomorrow. Even though it's just for a few hours, but I'm so used to going back to school for training only. So going back now in a formal way feels bad. >:(
Haha do you know how long I took to type this post? Super long. Because I have nothing to talk about, so I spent a lot of time stoning in front of the screen to think of what to say. Sigh, my life's so boring! But at least it beats mugging. haha. I wanna go to sentosa soon for beach vball :)

Okay I think I'll post again when I have something to talk about haha. For now, I'll happily enjoy my hols (:

Envy

2009-11-08T00:01:00.007+08:00

First up, Happy Birthday Elvan! (: I know you'll read this haha..

Oh haha yay I'm back to blogging again! Hmm I guess you could say I'm finally kind of free? WR's off my mind now, and OP's in 2 days haha. I really would prefer it on Monday instead actually.. but oh well! Tuesday's not that bad either (: Can't wait to get rid of my group and never work with them again. Haha I shall not sound so blunt! I just don't really like the styles of certain people. :p

Why is it that even though promos are over, I still can't feel relaxed yet. sigh.. So many things to do still. And the holiday (which isn't very long) is fun-filled with homework. I'm so looking forward.. I want to train train train train train and take my mind off everything else!

I guess some people just keep doing things that irritate others without knowing it.
SO ANNOYING.

When people criticize me, I just want to punch someone and press my face against a wall. It's not that I don't try, but I don't know where to start, I need help. Say I'm incompetent, but ask yourself if you could really do a better job. I know I heard this some time ago but every time I think about it my self esteem just falls. thanks for trusting me.

Sometimes I feel quite envious, when other people have someone to lean on.

Results, Sports Carnival 09' !

2009-10-27T21:53:00.010+08:00

PROMOS:O

Haha back to post again. Results are out! Don't know whether using the word 'finally' would be appropriate. But anyway, I guess I'm rather satisfied with some, disappointed in the others even though I already expected it. Overall, I think I'm easily satisfied since the personal target I set for myself wasn't very high in the first place hahaha.

Okay so... all over 100, the raw scores I got are 52 for bio, 34 for chem, 33 for maths, 44 for econs, 47.5 for gp.
Bleaahhhh I just hope I can promote.. But to some extent what the bigshot of the school said is true, if we just met promotional criteria we will most probably struggle next year. SIGH what to do I am so not talented in studying... :/ Haha, well some people did fairly well considering they 'didn't study much'. Nevermind I should be so used to hearing it by now lalala.

SPORTS CARNIVAL!

Moving on! Sports carnival was on last thursday and friday! It was cool in general. Fun, I mean.

Inter-pdp games on the first day was a total ownage. I'm glad the guys could join us otherwise we'll be goners, and it was a good time to bond as a pdp. Okay so the most significant thing about the whole inter-pdp games was that volleyball was champion pdp :D coolness. And we owned squash and soccer baskets. N.I.C.E. It felt super good seeing the ego shit heads whinning and being such sore losers. It kind of felt like sweet revenge. haha. I don't care what other people say, like how we don't deserve it and cos we had dsa guys blabla. Come on. Grow up and get a brain, cos every competition has its winners and losers. But sadly for people like that, you're the losers, the end.

Inter-cg games on the second day were rather fun too I guess. 0109 got 2nd for tug of war and 4th for captain's ball. not bad! hahaha. Actually the TA classes all made it to the finals for captain's ball except for 03 who won sunny side up instead lol. Still cool ;) Some pissing-off stuff happened here and there during captain's ball, but whatever life's never fair.
Gamma titans managed to get 2nd overall too! Really not bad already cos we beat delta the show off-sore losers hahaha.

Oh plus, we facilitated the vball match for inter-house games under the freaking scorching 2-4pm sun! So, I am totally over burnt now. haha. Peeling like a cockroach, and I think I'm the worst sun-burnt person among everyone else, I look as if I've got some skin disease. booo. >:(

LALALA...

Haha somehow I'm a little annoyed by the actions of some people who totally turn 180degrees into another oh-so-cute-and-lovable person in the presence of some..other people. Their volume suddenly gets amplified 1000 times than usual and they seem to be drawn to some presence by making use of every opportunity to be physically closer to them.
One word for them. yuck.

The last thing is.. I just have to say this. Whenever that person comes in close range with me, I hear his voice, and I feel his presence, I become disgusted.
Can you just freaking get out of my sight?
Someone told me about his results yesterday, and all I said was just 'haha I don't care.' Really.

POST-PROMOS!

2009-10-18T20:18:00.002+08:00

Hello! I AM SUCH A HAPPY GIRL NOW! (: well at least I will be for today and tomorrow. hm hm.
The 'promos are over' mood hasn't really sunk into me yet, cos I think I've spent a whole lot of time mugging and stressing myself out so I'm kind of not used to feeling not-so-stressed. But no worries! I don't mind it at all hahaha. ;)

Maths was rather horrible because it's just maths. hahaha. Left blanks here and there, and tried filling in some rubbish where ever I could, hopefully it'll help me abit. All I wish for now is to pass all my subjects, I don't expect to do exceptionally well at all. oh please. Ah and the moment it was 'pens-down', I started feeling sick-ly-uncomfortable. totally cool timing.
Left afterwards to collect my race pack with chia li at the flyer, and throughout the journey there and home, I felt terrible! poor me. My mommy fetched me at tampines mrt cos I think I would have fainted if she didn't. Went home, 38degreescelsius fever, packed, ate cereal, popped 2 panadol tablets and slept for an hour before leaving to meet tong, chiali and wen after that!

Headed to crystal's chalet! yay chalet chalet wo xi huan (: But the thing was I had a bad sorethroat plus flu plus fever so I didn't much bbq food I think. Well not much compared to my full eating potential heh heh. Some things were quite funny to watch, gave reasons for me and wenx to smile at each other. We all slept at 4am that night/morning! not bad hahaha.

Next morning woke up at 8.30? had a super light breakfast in the room then we went to wild wild wet! quite limited stuff to do, applying the law of diminishing marginal utility, as we played the rides more and more times, the more boring it gets. Haha! don't kill me econs-hating friends. Hmm after that I got abit 'sea'-sick cos of floating around in the lousy river, and my feet hurt from stepping on the rough gravel. Bathed, had dinner at pasta mania and we are off to the NIGHT SAFARI!! :D so cool so cool. We took crystal's aunt's pick-up which was totally awesome and I was already super excited over it since before promos hahaha. It felt like we could totally let loose and go mad at the back of the pick-up, blasting music even though the sound of the blasting wind was louder in our ears, having the wind whip our faces on the highway and we literally 'let down our hair'. super fun. (:
The 'ghosts' at night safari were quite creepy. Okay actually not very if they don't make sudden moves at you. Overall was fun! (: Took the cool pick-up for a food-less supper, then back to the chalet. Cut crystal's bday cake we bought for her slightly past 12am, and then we had cup noodles hahaha poor things. We all talked about staying up on the last night but ended up only me and wenx managed to laze around and talk till about 3am. (:

Back from the chalet today near afternoon and I think the stupid toast and egg I had this morning made me get diarrhoea -_- not only in the mall but thrice at home! booo. Slept like a log after lunch from 3 till 5, woke up diarhhoea again haha.

The new thing I hate now is PWPWPWPWPWPW. UGHHHH!!! shittiest thing in the world. Oh plus, liverpool's playing like crap now so pissing offfffff! ):< Okay until next time when I have something to say, I'M GOING TO SPAM MANGA AND WATCH MOVIES HAHAHA. GOODBYE! (:

Breathing.

2009-09-27T01:26:00.008+08:00

Firstly, I wanna thank xiwen for editing this whole troublesome blog for me! (: because I'm too dumb to do so. haha. I like it very much (:

Seems like it's been a really long time since I've last blogged. Well, same reasons, same excuses. We've barely anytime time left to mug for promos, because it's in less than 3 weeks time I think. Don't like keeping count of the date cos it's so scary to do so, but yet it's scary that I don't know how much time I've left. Vouch for me, if I do terribly bad for promos (pray not), I'll leave this damn school for where ever.
Hmm... School's been a bore than usual. Actually no, it has it's share of drama that frustrate tey amuses me at times.
Right now I'm trying very hard to stop thinking of things, but it never fails to remind and make me upset all over again every time I unfortunately see you. It's really hurts you know, trying so hard to hide it. Trying to do that little happy memory justice despite knowing nothing will ever come out of it. Tonight, you spoke to me. Remind me again, when was the last time we talked? 1 month and 22 days ago. Yes, I counted. It obviously tells me something now, and it's that you're shallow and you don't care. Whatever.

You've changed and I will too.

Pre-promos

2009-09-04T20:53:00.001+08:00

Hello world! I've been busy x100000 every stupid single day. ah sigh, so much for balanced lifestyle hm (:
Anyway, I only bother to take some time out to blog now cos it's the "last day" of the term. I wish. We still have to go back to school here and there for make-ups, which is freaking irritatinggg!! Give us a break already :( It wouldn't be called a holiday if we keep having to go back to school right..

Okay, enough about school. never fails to spoil my mood haha. I haven't been getting enough sleep recently I think.. Have been feeling really tired in school, often getting headaches ESPECIALLY in maths tutorials hahahaha. maths -__-
Now trainings stopped, so I think I'm gonna go into withdrawal sometime soon and dieee :(
OMG IMAGINE NO TRAININGS FOR 2 DAMN MONTHSS. we can all just be back to tofus when it resumes alright. sucks :/

Teacher's day on monday/tuesday... nothing much. no attachment or special bond with any teachers, cos apparently they think i'm 'too quiet'. so insignificant in class you know? hahaha.

Hmmmm... what other random stuff can I say to make this a wordy post. My shoulder's been acting up lately. oh my wrist as well. maybe they're hinting me that they're gonna fall off soon haha. omg i'm really blank now. nothing to say cos my life's too boring to talk about lol. Hope that I won't be such an idiot and start studying! byee.

national day!

2009-08-09T16:27:00.000+08:00

Happy National Day! Feels like any other day though.. anyway, let's talk about some more interesting stuff.

The girls and I went out to eat a jap buffet at IMM yesterday! :D michelle's dad was so nice to send us all the way to the yintong end of singapore (:
anyway the food was really great, cos we spammed it quite crazily until I think the waitresses didn't wanna serve us anymore HAHA.
So we ordered alot alot alot of food, meat and seafood etcetc, and at the end was our most awaited ice cream eating competition. We all ate a whole lot of matcha ice cream like mad, and we kept the bowls to take photos later on. But then I think we used up all their bowls so they had to get it back from us LOL.
Okay so we had a total of 27 bowls (scoops), approximately $121 worth of ice cream :O cool? Tong won with 7 bowls. :p because her stomach's expandable so that's unfair. followed by xiwen who set her new personal record of 6. then me with 5! :D, after that chia li with 4, michelle with 3 and crystal with 2 hahaha. we are sad people.. eat so much ice cream grow fat :|

After that we walked around abit cos people like me and michelle have never been to IMM before o.o lousy.. then we had to leave for tuitionnnnn. boooo!
At night my family and I went to this really nice and authenthic italian restaurant. so many angmohs, but even more nice food omg how to eat...
Today afternoon my family and I had nice food AGAIN at marche @ vivocity. damn it was good :/ but thinking about all the food I had since yesterday scares me. sigh.. Went onto the sky tower at sentosa later on, nothing much to see though..
My cough got a little worse today! guess it's cos of all the foooood..

On the boring side of life, I have a whole lot of stupid work to do.. SPOILER! >:(>:(>:(

After hiatus

2009-08-07T21:38:00.000+08:00

Hello world! Hmmm blogger's format's very weird today, somehow. So no pics or nice fonts.
Anyway I know I haven't posted since like more than a month ago :O Haha! Too busy and partially lazy.

Been busy with alot of school work, tests, and lots of vball trainings. So by the time I get home i'm all ready to fall asleep! School sucks, it's boring, and the teachers (especially a certain someone) just can't wait to screw me. My JCTs was like shit, had to go for PTD with aziz and yeah, I guess I earned myself these 'privileges' huh..

Okay so the only thing I've been enjoying are trainings, even though there's been some annoying things happening of late. But I think I would prefer concentrating on playing better instead. (:

Today's national day celebration! So cold and boring, but doesn't matter cos I think it's partially just me. Don't feel the connection with this sort of celebrations.
Oh oh and one last thing, I'm finally falling sick I think! HAHA. yesss I know, finally. Got abit of flu and cough, but I'm meeting the girls tmr to spam food so no problem ;)

I think I've really lost touch with blogging man... shall post again when I feel like it! bye.

H1N1. econs paper down!

2009-06-30T00:06:00.003+08:00

Holidays are sadly over very quickly, and the stubborn ministry just refuses to close schools for a mere ONE week despite the big big big increase in h1n1 cases. haha -_-
I really don't see the point in trying so hard to solve the problem only AFTER the situation in schools goes out of hand. Why not just prevent it from happening in the first place? Oh wait! haha I guess I'm wrong. Look at RP. They've already got so many cases but still, not the whole school is closed. What in the world is going on haha. Gov claims that even though the numbers are rising, the cases are mild so don't have to worry. If they don't think there is a need to worry, then why all the strict precautionary measures in the first place? lalala. I hope the numbers soar soar soar to like a million, then we'll see how the oh so cool goverment handles the situation. ;) That's what they're waiting for anyway right? To wait till it becomes so bad before they consider taking some serious action.
Haha I shall go to mexico tonight! :D

Okay anyway so I have been doing some rather serious studying in the last two weeks of the holiday, but still can't remember stuff cos of my STML. sigh. Haven't touched maths, haven't finished bio, and barely understand chem hahaha. lol, that's no longer considered studying anymore right? That's called skimming through. Hmm, so glad that one paper's down, yet I'm already in the post-exam mood haha. (A) terrible terrible... Seeing people studying-out-loud scares me. And those who speak so seriously about the mid years, makes me feel like I suck. hahaha. Somehow this time I don't feel the seriousness in studying, and I'm not even nervous haha. Weird but bad.

Alright, I'll try studying abit tomorrow if I even get into the mood. It's just one week gedine! (: Yeap. Just a few more days. jiayou!

trainingtraining&moretraining2!

2009-06-06T22:33:00.004+08:00

Hello, the whole series of make up lessons for the whole of this week are all over! yay yay yay.
So I've been praying time will pass quickly JUST for this week, because going back to school for academic reasons really sucks.
Thankfully there's been training for the past few days, thursday friday and today :D
Haha hmm I admit even though some trainings made me abit frustrated but overall I'm still glad we get to train unlike most pdps. I kept injuring my right wrist :/ and after it gets slightly better I injure it again. sigh. Oh, so are the blisters on my feet, but overall that's okay haha.

And guess what! I haven't started studying at all heh heh. Too lazy to do so, and no mood also. terrible terrible...
Hmm.. the holidays are great, apart from studying, I get to avoid stupid nonsense, get distracted by a whole lot of other happier stuff like family, true friends and trainings, sleeping. haha yeap. just great. (:

disappointment, numb.

Start of june hols

2009-05-31T22:48:00.002+08:00

Hi, it's finally the holidays but somehow I don't feel very happy about it!
The first week of hols' already taken up by make up lessons EVERYDAY. Okay there are trainings too which I really don't mind having everyday though (:
Haven't really switched into the 'i'm so screwed so i better start studying' mode yet, but soon soon i hope. So right now I'm trying my hardest to enjoy the youth of the holidays made of fun filled slacking ;)
I know I'm terrible lah don't have to tell me.
h
Hmm so on friday, for once I went home considerably early on a school day. Went straight home after lessons! (:
Saturday was spent out with the girls to celebrate shiling's birthday! went to walk around at amk hub and I think I spent alot of money :/

Lalala I just lost my train of thought cos a sudden urge of inspiration just came.
Shall blog again when I have something to talk about! Bye.

They're all leaving..

the Wednesday trend.

2009-05-24T16:27:00.006+08:00

Haha this week has been DAMN SUCKY AND SAD. okay not entirely, but yeah. generally!

Okay so on Monday (which was the saddest day), xiwen tong and ling ALL DIDN'T COME TO SCHOOL cos they were sick. waaahhhh I wanted to cry ): haha. So when I found out they were all gonna pangseh me, I msged crystal immediately to ask if she was coming. Heng she was okay! But when I met her in school she was actually quite sick too and actually didn't wanna come o.o
Omg just imagine if she really didn't come... I would have hidden myself in the sickbay all day and die. |:
Apart from that, luckily we were excused to go watch the vball finals at toapayoh! The girls' finals were quite interesting.. but abit one sided cos ny was totally thrashing vj. But the guys' match was :O:O:O super exciting. But i'm happy that hwachong won not ny(: Haha and there was this bunch of ngeeannSEC girls who sat beside us (don't know why were they there either) and kept whinning screaming shaking whatever. super irritating!

Well, the other days were just stupid and sian and boring and i have to emphasize again, damn stupid. Hmmm and from my past posts, I have observed a trend that wednesdays seem to suck the most even though lessons are the most slack. Sigh sigh. Okay but I guess I'm already used to all the rubbish.

Friday, tong and I went to crystal's house to pick up some of her stuff before going to plaza sing to meet wen! tong had to go halfway though but it's okay (: We walked around and bought stuff, then went home! wah by the time I reached home I was really dead tired man. Couldn't go online at all so I just went to sleep BEFORE 12. achievement. hahaha.

Saturday was spent on pw meeting in the afternoon before my sis came to pick me up on the way. Then we went to pick her bf, and I went to his house omg it's damnnnn cooooool. :D I'm envious. Okay then we all came home for dinner prepared by my daddy ;) steak plus potatoes plus salad plus yummy dessert. Don't drool, cos it was very nice (: and for no occasion actually. haha!

Next week's the last week of this term! YESSSS. I think I'll be the happiest person in the world when the last bell rings on friday. Can't wait to get away from school. Bye!

Smiling fine without you.

2009-05-16T23:24:00.005+08:00

Hello! Once again, I've nothing nice to blog about. hmm hmm...
Oh. right. Monday was vesak day replacement holiday! But instead of a holiday, we went to watch the vball guys' match at ccab in the afternoon. Well I'm sad, but I know they played really well that day! good job (:

Tuesday - Friday was the normal disgusting and sian school days. Boring lessons, stupid homework, and freaking 2 TESTSSSTSSTSS. D:<
But anyway, I thought they were kind of okay, really thanks to my friends ;) And so glad they're finally over! Another big one coming up though. sighhh.

On Thursday, my friends and I went for lunch at astons after school! :D yay yummy yunmmy. And after that we went to eat the best frost dessert in the world. REALLY. Oh man thinking about it now, I'm craving for it already ): Wo hen xi huaaannn. macha <3 I shall go pull my father mother brother sister dog cat cow sheep bird friends all go eat together someday (:

Yesterday, which was friday, I managed to survive the day! But despite all that, it had to rain sooo heavily when we were playing vball. So, we played outside the pe office. Which wasn't that bad actually!

Today IS A SATURDAY (when I would usually take my beauty 12 hours of sleep) but then we the vball ppl had to go back to school to help out with traffic control for college day. We got to play with cool walkie talkies! :D haha so fun! well, wen and I were stationed at the TA block where we had no business. lol so sad. zero VIPs. So we just stood there and did stupid things, stupid poses, thought of stupid things to do to the people who are gonna drive past etcetcetc. (:

After it ended we initially wanted to play vball but couldn't, then we went to popeyes for lunch! Ahh, sin... :/ Once I reached home and bathed, I just slept allll the way from 2 to 6pm. COOL RIGHT. yeahh damn shiok ;) Went to thai express for dinner, and it was good! even though I was near tearing and freezing most of the time. yay I'm happy today cos I ate nice food and didn't do any hw! (:

I can smile fine without you.

Frustration.

2009-05-13T22:25:00.001+08:00

Today was a really bad day.
I really need some method to control frustration man. so sorry to everyone who had to put up with that.

Once upon a time

2009-05-03T16:41:00.005+08:00

Very very very lazy to blog haha. Nothing to say either! Okay well, 2 days ago was thankfully labour day! :D No school, no need to face so much crap. ;)
So I've been trying very hard to slack my life away these few days, and it was kinda successful. yay. On labour day, I finally went to buy my long awaited bagpack! weeeeee (:
Haha fyi my current bag's been with me since sec 1 :O ancient. So it'stime for a change!
Yeap, went with wenx and tong after wenx's class outing. heh heh at least I had some form of a life, cos I actually went out shopping. We took the mrt and almost missed our stop cos we were all happily talking! lalala. Walked around amk hub, finally bought our beloved bag, ate some rubbish at macs, slack slack for awhile then went home! (: hmm hmm it was fun hanging out. yay.

Took a long bus ride on 24 with wenx, she alighted first though, then I went to my relative's house for an advance mother's day bbq. Well, it was freaking 冷. and boring. and I had to see some shit faces sighh. my poor eyes. :/

Saturday, I woke up bright and early (11.30am which is still the MORNING) for pw meeting! okay I admit I was 7minutes late according to shiling, sorry, but at least I'm not the lat-EST ;)
it was productive so we managed to end it in 2 hours weeeee. took bus 17 home with ling, and the bus was really moving damn slowly... snail bus. o.o When I was walking home, met my mom halfway so I accompanied her to buy some stuff then went out for dinner after that! sakaeeee :D ate like a pig, then felt quite uncomfortable, then had diarrhoea. haha. It's a digestive system thing..
Today my mommy went out so I'm left to eat whatever I can find at home! hahaha.
And my daddy went overseas.. sigh. I wanna go too. I wanna leave this stupid place, and maybe bringing all my few treasured people with me. weee we all fly away to some deserted happy land and stay there forever. I wish. haha.

Okay sorry, I'm abit crazy now. And this post is rather long and happy eh! Keep it up gedine.

Once upon a time

Pressing on an open wound

2009-04-29T23:40:00.003+08:00

Hi, I was sad today.
Well, but somehow it came out in the 'pissed off' way as usual.
sad = anger, sigh..
Really thank goodness tomorrow's the last day of the week cos I need to get away from all the shit.

It's like pressing on an open wound.

Just another person on the streets

2009-04-26T22:40:00.005+08:00

Haha here to attempt to revive my dying blog. My life is just so not interesting! what to do..?
Hmm hmm... Okay so for the past week, we've been going to watch vball matches, and missing lessons. ;) I know it's bad to miss lessons but I feel damn sian and sick going for them.

On Tuesday, I went for B&J's free cone day at raffles after vball match with xiwen and dawn! (:
Haha the queue was freakingggg long, but thankfully fast. We stood all the way during the match, stood all the way on the mrt, stood all the way while queueing and stood all the way on the mrt back home. Omg my legs were damn sour and as suggested by tong, I need to soak it in sugar. ha.ha.

On Friday, we had self training JUST FOR FUN straight away after school at 1+pm, all the way till hc polling which only took up less than half an hour i think. And after that our self training became some guided and rather vigorous training. Ah actually, it's probably cos we're all already so tired out. Phew. Literally played like mad, then we went to buy drinks opposite school and went for megahouse function.
It was... not very good... Okay to put it more bluntly, it was boring.
I totally couldn't feel the climax of the event, then it ended all of a sudden lol. Like I barely had any fun then I hear this announcement saying 'the gates will be closed in 50mins, please clear the hall asap thankyou'. hahahaha. So just some pointers for the new hc, jiayou!

I've been slacking like crazy in the weekends, cos I'm deprived of it during the weekdays. Goodbye! Another cycle's starting again tmr.

Well, I just can't be bothered anymore with some things..... So sick and tired of it. Just do whatever you want, think however you like. It's not like what I did managed to change anything anyway. You're a cold-hard unbreakable wall who can decide to shirk off everything that mattered to me so easily.

Empty Expectations

2009-04-17T22:50:00.006+08:00

Hello I'm FINALLY blogging because my poor blog feels so sad being ignored.. sigh.
So, my beloved tablet is back home after it's long stay at the repair centre! (: aww I sure miss it alot.
The past 2 week's been hell. A freak lot of homework, tests, projects to do, and till now they're still undone. Well, they just keep coming so I guess I'll be blogging less often from now on :/
I feel so drained, so exhausted, and why am I NOT sick so I can skip school and rest properly at home for a few days. WHYY. hahaha.
omg at times like this, sometimes I think that a strong immune system may not be so good afterall.

Volleyball's been a drive for me. Just getting away from work and stress for awhile to sweat it out at my favourite sport' so much fun. Getting to miss some lessons to be a spy in matches, PHEW. (:
Sigh...see, my life's boring. Nothing to talk about. Tmr's TA open house, but I'm not involved so doesn't matter to me.

"I fought with this decision for a long time, thought hard of all the possibilites, all the consequences, and in the end, I still did it with pure will.
Why?
I don't know either...Something about the value of it all which I treasure so much pushing me ahead.
Now I've finally done it, I've no regrets, just anxiety while waiting..
and waiting.
I've been waiting all along, so this is just another one of those times. I'm probably used to it.

No.
I'm sick of it.

What am I expecting?
Rather,
what can I expect?
Just the same old nothings.

Yeah, it's just me on my part. But I have to say this, you're the first. "

Howl's Moving Castle OST

2009-04-12T22:53:00.003+08:00

I love this song (': makes me wanna cry!
a nice song from a nice movie.
and the violinist is too good.
enjoy!

sports meet, DUATHLON!

2009-04-04T21:38:00.002+08:00

HI duathlon was today and I thought it was kinda fun! (: Missed qingming with my family though.Damn physically tiring but that doesn't really matter cos they're friends who do it together with you.
Okay soooo.... wen,tong,chinhwee,chiali and I met up super early with the intent of reaching EARLY to have spare time. but in the end we kinda alighted at the wrong bus stop so we took a freaking long time waaaaalking to the gathering area. And therefore the early people became late.
Omg I think my energy was alrealy half gone even before the race. haha.
The first 3km was okay, not very tiring. But after xiwen cycled off, I got bitten by an ant while sitting on the grass -_- haha random! that's not the point.. well, momentum is lost once you stop, so when I started the next 3km it was like crap. Felt damn terrible when I just started off, but got better after awhile then managed to finish :D
yay so proud of ourselves.

I WANT TO CYCLE NEXT YEAR. ;D
(then xiwen gave me the o.o 'huh you expect me to run meh??' face.) lolol.

After the race ended, we went to change blabla then WALKEDDD again to a bustop near school. wth lah my legs almost broke ): so suan. sighhh. Then we went to popeyes at t3 for a supergood lunch (:
During which I felt so bad cos I ruined xiwen's lunch by accident. ahh sorry :/ Hungry people are scary people. On the bus home I just slept all the way, didn't even feel like getting off.
And just when I was about to fall asleep at home, I had to go out again for dinner. RARRRHHH.
:

Haha yeap so that's all for my boring life. YTD WAS SPORTSDAY. ahhhhh I hate it when i'm not involved. No mood actually... sian sian. IM GONNA JOIN EVERYTHING NEXT YEAR HAHA. okay no, i'm kidding.

Hiatus

2009-04-02T20:49:00.002+08:00

Hello, world! I know I haven't been in touch with the world since I don't know when...
Well my same usual excuse. I'm too busy! ):
More projects now, tutorials and plus the most dreaded, PW! ahhhh..
Okay I do admit that I did have some free time occasionally but I'm too lazy and have nothing nice to blog about! lalala.

So, for the past week(s), nothing interesting happened, but plenty of depressing stuff.
Oh well! Shall just try to look past everything and put on a smile.
Trainings are always and incentive for me to go to school, other than that, nothing much!
Last weekend was qing ming, and yesterday was a whole lot of chionging of work. D:
Bio handout + script + PI omgomg. Almost died of exhaustion sighh.
Racked my brains for PI and really, it was almost dead before 10pm. :/
So today I was feeling tired/sleepy most of the time, and from what I heard, many people were happily sleeping in bio lecture even though we were all sitted in the front ho ho ho. myself inclusive.

On a side note, my beloved tablet spoilt on me )': So now I'm relying on random spare coms. Sigh no pics no music no files no nothingggg. My tablet must be missing me now at the repair centre.

Looking forward to tmr, cos it's a slack day (finally). So sad, first time being some flower vase during sports day ): Oh anw looking forward to duathalon too! :D yayayay.

Haha sian my post sounds damn boring and stupid. Lost touch with post typing. Bye!

Alicia's belated 17th bday!

2009-03-19T22:39:00.002+08:00

Heyo, I'm such a stupid slacker! kick me please. okay no, don't.
I've very proudly accomplished very little holiday homework, but c'mon! at least I did... some. lol.
my usual self.
So during the whole holoidays up till now, I've been officially out only twice.
The first time's for bio spa in school on monday. Went to play vball for awhile with tong and chinhwee, then i had lunch with tong at tm yoshinoya! (:

Today, I went out with my long lasting beloved primary school friends to celebrate alicia's one day belated birthday! At nyny, again. haha yeap! nyny is yummy :D We ate like pigggsss because our meal included filling main course + super huge portion of ice cream + sinful super sweet eyeball drink. hahaha yeaaah man. Had a nice chat and took some nice pics, then we went to esplanade's roof garden for fun. I've never been there before :O Yeap then we went home.

Sighh.. there's really nothing much for me to blog about. Boring boring...

LFC 4 - 1 MAN U THRASHHHHH :D

2009-03-14T23:42:00.004+08:00

HI, here's a little incentive during this period of sian-ness.
LIVERPOOL WON :D :D :D

okay, that's not LITTLE anymore, it's a BIG WIN. woohoo.
1-4. (:(:
come on, how often do you get to see man u being thrashed 1-4 at home before? almost never.
;)
Yeah so, I was damn high and agitated during the match. And my whole family watched together! so cool. Before the match I strictly instructed no dinner out today, and seems like it was damn worth it hahaha.

So in conclusion, I'm so happy now I feel like running around my neighbourhood in my jersey. ah, but too bad there're no crazy enough people to do it with me. sigh.

For once I'm feeling happy. don't ruin it please.

Her side of the story.

2009-03-13T22:05:00.004+08:00

She doesn't know what happened, how it happened, why.
But to her, he doesn't seem to care, or has he even realised.
She wonders.. did everything they share in the past mean nothing at all.
She's took the first step and tried, but it's not working.
And now, left with no other option, she finally says,
'it's all up to him to decide how much this means.'

Last day of Term 1

2009-03-13T21:06:00.002+08:00

I realised, I've been blogging on fridays only!
Well, this week's been okay... thankfully. At least I didn't die. haha.

Okay first up, long jump qualifiers/finals on monday!
So tong and I went for it initially mentally prepared to lose our faces for the rest of our lives, but it wasn't so bad haha. We made it through qualifiers, then kinda struggled in the finals cos the other competitors were just damn good. :/ Oh and, I had like a pounding heading during long jump. which sucked.
In the end, no medal at all this year! so sad ): but at least we made it to top 8, got some points for our house! so at least it's a little worth it. weee.

PE on tuesday and wednesday was like crap, cos it made me ache like crap too. phew, the consequences of lack of training. Okay but at least PE made me exercise (: Otherwise my intake of food and amount of workout will be largely unproportionate haha.

Today is thank goodness, friday. Yeah at least I'm thankful for it now. Last day of disgusting school, and I get to isolate myself at home, stay away from all the crap. But homework will continue to stick with me whereever I go, that I cannot avoid, sadly. Today, I had a freaking bad headache again. It stayed with me for almost the whole day, got worse nearing the end, so I skipped lunch. Sigh.. I wanted to go home early, but I bet by the time I find SO MANY people to sign the stupid form lessons would have ended by then. -_- So I stayed.
Went home and I listened to my nice music while lying on my bed, played quadrapop and set a new high score (: relaxing... fell asleep awhile later anyway.

screw JC life

2009-03-06T23:40:00.005+08:00

Hello world, today is finally friday.
SUPPOSEDLY the day I look forward to the most every week, but for today,
TGIF my foot lah.
Just feeling so stressed up... again. Like I don't know whatever teachers' are talking about most of the time, and no one actually bothers to help. Yeah. Damn helpless...
I so agree it's a vicious cycle. Everytime you ignore yourself, you just fall deeper and deeper.
Oh well! So much for jc life. I don't understand how some people find it fun and exciting.
It's like everyday after school I come home and all I do is try to do tutorials, then sleep.
Weekends are spent doing more tutorials/projects/studying for tests/trying to catch up with whatever you lag behind in. And then the weekdays start again.
What the hell lah I need a life. And I foresee that the march holidays won't be any better, really.

So today I went home straight after school, just like any other day, which wasn't very fun.
But at least I got to rest abit...
Going online nowadays' also meaningless. We don't need our tablets, we hardly do any research. And ... yeah. nothing happens. so what's the point man. Okay actually I'm not making any sense now, cos I still go online despite saying all the crap about it.
I think I'm such a pessimistic person. haha.

Unlike those sweet sayings. Rather, time brings us further apart.

Surf & Sweat 09 !

2009-03-02T22:57:00.003+08:00

Hello world! yeap I'm not emo already. yay!
Well at least not for noww..... (:
Okay so my mindset about school still remains unchanged, but at least I have learnt how to look past all this stress and try to move on. TRY.
Vball training helps alot, like relieves my stress for the day. Just that I feel super tired once again the next morning as usual.
Guess what! I'm so gonna dig a hole and hide my face in the ground during long jump on thursday. lalalala. Participation marks alone's just not my thing man.

Anyway! Let me talk about some good parts of this sick and boring life. On saturday night I went for REALLY GOOOOD korean bbq at dempsey! damn authenthic, like korean waiters/chefs/boss and all. coooool. and very yummy (:
Sunday (even though I had to wake up damn early for a weekend), I went for Surf & Sweat with xiwen, crystal and our senior michelle! Glad it was fun man, so at least I didn't feel like my sunday was wasted.
Well cos we got signed up for the wrong category, we all did the individual event! woohoo.
Surfed and ran, which was physically exhausting but still fun. Sense of accomplishment ;D
After that xiwen and I went for a good lunch at carls jr, and I swore I could eat 10 burgers hahaha. nonsense of course.
We initially INTENDED to study/do work but.. sigh! usual excuses and laziness... so we didn't in the end (: glad we didn't though. then wenx accompanied me to taka to get my sister's bday present, and back home finally! weeeee.
Just in time for dinner. And today's monday, finally gone.

We saw a full arc rainbow today !! :D:D:D So super duper absolutely extremely very beautifulllll.
Yeah, it's like the first time in my short little life (:
PLUS. there were actually 2 rainbows ! =D So cool right. imagine like, 2 full arc rainbows right in front of your eyes, above a green field, spanning from white fluffy clouds. You'd just wanna stare at it forever.
So that's my day! I realised my posts are starting to sound less and less engaging now. haha!

As long as you know, the rest of the world doesn't matter