So the world didn't end and thank all goodness that we're still breathing and alive to live another day. Now I really appreciate the very fact of existing and living and being normal with all 5 senses and a functional body and limbs. Hearing of news of people dying or of those with deformities makes life seem so surreal and it makes me feel so fortunate for being safe and healthy in comparison to others who're ill-fated.
At times when I'm crossing a road and a car approaches really quickly I would have this uncontrollable shiver that runs down my body and I would have those thoughts like what people say, of what you would see before you die. And for me it's my life's regrets.
So no matter what shit I'll be facing in the upcoming year, I shall be thankful for just being here and it'll all soon pass and just become part of a memory. If other people can do it, I can do it too.
So this holiday has been packed with JCRC stuff like going back to support or help out with IHG/IHRG, or trainings and meetings. I know that it's part of my responsibility since I've taken up the job but a huge part of me dreads everything related to going back to friggin boon lay. Honestly, watching recreational games is like the most boring thing on earth and I'd rather be at home staring at my walls. It's like, we're there for the sake of being there, not because they need us there nor cos we want to be there. And I feel like I've been so busy going back I don't even have enough time to catch up with the people dearest to me. So many friends I've failed to meet up with and I feel so bad for always being unable to keep my word..
I've missed some trainings and meetings and going back to support whatever for reasons like my cousin's wedding, my family's photoshoot, going overseas and my wrist injury and it all sounds like a bunch of excuses but honestly I don't care what people think about me. They may think that geraldine is just a lazy ass who misses everything but I still do it because I know that my conscience is clear and that I don't lie for missing anything. To me, my family and friends are more important to me because honestly looking at the big picture it's the people who make up my life not my temporal duties. I try my best to carry out my duties but when my people need me they take first place.
My old injury on my wrist just came back again after playing an intense day of volleyball during ISG. It's not the kind where my wrist is crippled and I can't do a shit so I'm sure some people think that I'm faking it but whatever why do I have to prove it to them. Went for TCM and got it acupunctured and bandaged again but I can't even let it rest because of all the matches coming up. Seriously I need a break.
Things haven't been going well with my closest friends in a sense that two of them have recently broken up and one of them on the verge of it. I just feel so sad for them but yet I know this is the best way for them to find happiness. It's only when things like that happen to the people closest to me do I feel even more fortunate and thankful to have someone who was able to last through the rough times with me for the past year. I really hope for the best for my dear friends to find theirs soon too.
Well, it's 2 more weeks till the new school semester starts and all my shitload will be flooding in. But the next 2 weeks won't be peaceful for me either. I just want some time alone to spend with my family before I get busy again.. I'm sorry friends. Time is just so limited and sometimes I wonder why can't earth just rotate slower. sigh..
