Everyones life is special, because of the fact that you're given one to live. Life is not a bed of roses. All the obstacles and emtional stress you're facing is just a part and parcel of life for you to learn from. If everyone's life is smooth sailing, who would know what hardship is like? Many other people are experiencing emotional stress far worse than yours, you never know. Not that the stress you're facing is small, but take it positively, a lesson to learn from. I admit i will never understand how you're feeling, and probing further may just make you even more irritated. You gave up on yourself, but what about those around you? they haven't given up on you. If you are given one life to live, when you're happy you have to live it, but when you're facing stress you also have to live it. So you might as well choose to be happy isn't it? Maybe you don't wish to speak about it, you're not gonna let your life crash because of one person are you. But life is precious, and there are always people there to encourage you and support you. Please don't give up. Jiayou